Category Archives: Pop Culture

Memory Lane: ‘Phantom Agents’

Remember Phantom Agents? A Japanese-made piece of vintage 1960s awfulness, actually kind of fun to watch because it was just so unexpectedly bad.

The thing that got me every time was the agents’ phenomenal ability to jump backwards and land safely on the branch of a tree 20 feet off the ground. How did they do that? But they also knew how to jump backwards out of the water and land on the deck of a ship 20 feet out of the water. Now ain’t that somethin’!

I wonder how many numbskulls watched this show and went into martial arts studios to ask how to jump backwards into trees.


Am I Still on ‘the Right’?

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We all know what it means to be on the Left of the political spectrum. If you don’t, spend five minutes listening to any noozie, any feminist, any teachers’ union hack, and you’ll know all about it.

But what does it mean to be on the Right? What with assorted bow-tie “conservatives” kicking out of their movement anyone who supports President Donald Trump, while liberals denounce as “fascist” anyone who isn’t them, it’s gotten kind of confusing. Especially since I can’t see what those “conservatives” are supposed to be conserving, if anything.

I think I know where I stand, and maybe it might be helpful if I said where that is. So let me state what I believe, and let the “right” and “left” chips fall where they may.

*Jesus Christ is the Son of God and King of Kings by right. Someday He will return to exercise that right on earth. His is the only world government I will ever support.

*Governments exist to carry out certain basic functions, defined in Romans 13 and elsewhere throughout the Bible, and summarized in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. Those functions do not include redefining basic human institutions or Saving The Planet, etc.

*America is a much better country than most others, and we have a right to try to keep it that way. We have a right to our borders.

*Christianity is the only true religion and no government has a right to suppress it. It goes without saying that Christians have a duty to treat others, including non-Christians, as they would be treated themselves. Humanists recognize no such obligation.

*There are only two “genders.” Period. Male and female created He them.

*Government has a natural tendency to try to devour everything it can cram down its gullet. Citizens of a republic have a duty to keep the government reined in.

*”Science” is a useful tool for finding out more about God’s created order. It is not an absolute arbiter of what is or is not.

*Capitalism creates wealth, from which everyone, sooner or later, benefits. But socialism creates poverty. Ask anyone in Venezuela.

I could go on, but those are the basics of my politics. If they’re enough to get me booted out of the conservative movement, I don’t care. I don’t think I even own a bow tie, anyhow.

 


The Newest Phone Scam

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Would you buy something from, or donate money to, a computer posing as a human being? Well, you would if you were balmy.

The newest thing in scam artistry is the robo-call disguised as a live human. It is a disguise that would only fool another robot, but they think it’ll fool you. Well, hey, we twice elected Obama president: I’m sure they’ve taken that into consideration.

It goes like this.

ROBOT: Hello–Joanne?

MAN: Nobody here by that name, you have a wrong number.

ROBOT: Oh, that’s all right! I was calling everybody in your neighborhood anyway…

Here the person usually hangs up. But now I think I’d like to continue the conversation and see what happens.

PERSON: Is this about the murder?

I want to see how the robot is programmed to handle that. What do you want to bet it doesn’t say “What murder?”

ROBOT: Our records show that you have stayed at our resort, Bedbug Manor, twice before and are qualified to receive our one-time only Satisfied Customer Discount…

By this time you gotta be clued in: you are not talking to a human being. You should either hang up or leave the phone off the hook where your cat can get at it, while you move on to some other detail of your daily life.

 


Loony Tunes: ‘Babbit and Catstello’

You might want to watch this before youtube pulls it off this blog.

Loony Tunes, 1942: Babbit and Catstello takes off on Abbot and Costello, who were smokin’ hot at the time. They were only two of the many movie stars who wound up with avatars in cartoons, including Bing Crosby, Humphrey Bogart, and Peter Lorre, just to name three. Some of these renditions were uncanny!


Memory Lane: ‘Risk’

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Here was another rainy day favorite of my childhood–the game of Risk. Can you raise mighty armies, and conquer the world? This was your chance to try.

What strategy will you use? Will you try to nail down Australia, and spread out from there? It’ll be hard for the other players to attack you there, but you might get bottled up. Or will you set up in some central location, like Mongolia (my favorite!), and attack the weakest targets until all Asia grovels at your feet, and supplies you with the numbers needed to go after Europe?

It was also a fun way to learn geography. Where is the Risk player who doesn’t know where Kamchatka is? Which is not the same as knowing how to pronounce it! And gee, look at that: the Middle East gives you entry into Africa, Europe, or Asia, or even all three at once.

I know Risk is still around, but I don’t know who’s playing it. Patty and I have a game in our toy chest. Of course, to play it, you have to be able to concentrate for two hours at a stretch, and you have to be imaginative, with the ability to adapt your strategy to changing circumstances. I’m afraid that might be asking a bit too much of the Zombie Bloodbath video game crowd.


How Old is ‘Old’?

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On more than one occasion, I’ve been insulted by liberals on account of my age. As in, “You still don’t get it, do you, grandpa?” as a clever way of putting down to creeping senility my opposition to one or the other of their creepy social engineering projects. If I were only young and vibrant–and ignorant–I would naturally embrace the wisdom of socialism, gender-bending, or whatever.

I saw a movie last night in which a man, the victim of a reputation-destroying lie, was described even by his loving family as “old” and all but ready for the glue factory–at 68! Like, someone that old, it’s not even worthwhile to rescue his good name: he might pop off 15 minutes later. And the actor who played him looked only a little livelier than the mummy of Ramesses II (pictured above).

Sixty-eight years old… Wait a minute! I’m 68! Doh!

Oh, you mean “68 years young“! Is there a smarmier or more condescending expression in any language in the world? And meanwhile, how did the word “older” come to mean “less old”? How is that a euphemism for “old”?

Well, lemme tell ya somethin’ about “old.”

If you’re 68 instead of 38, it means you can remember better times and better people than a 38-year-old will ever know–although he’s in better shape than a 28-year-old, and much better off than an 18-year-old. It means you have seen better ways of doing things than are done now, and you know what they look like and remember how to do them. It means you know, for a fact, that we don’t have to live like sock puppets. You’ve even seen some worse things, and you know what should be avoided.

A doctor said to me, a year or so ago, “You ride your bike no-handed. What more do you want?” I rest my case.

 

 


Self-Education via Pop Music: Foolishness 101

One of the ways we continually educate ourselves is by consuming pop culture. And just so you don’t think this present time has a lock on truly ridiculous ideas expressed in music, dig this award-winning turkey from 1962, sung by Jack Jones: Lollipops and Roses.

Do you believe these lyrics? “Make it her birthday each day of the week…” On Dec. 31 she’ll be 365 years old. But even more preposterous, “One day she’ll smile, next day she’ll cry,/ Minute to minute, you’ll never know why…” Sounds like she’s more than ready for the rubber room. Can you imagine living with somebody like that?

So much of our music, our movies and TV, our books, teach us an awful lot of pazoo about how we ought to relate to one another. Do you really think nobody actually picks up on this teaching? No one’s influenced by it? Well, bunkie, there’s a whole advertising industry that’s betting that you’re wrong. And a whole public education industry, too, for that matter.

The only reason nobody gets a degree in Being a Dope is that nobody needs one.


New Feminist Fad: Marry Yourself

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Introducing “sologamy,” the new feminist art of marrying yourself!

Because no one else can stand you?

Yep, it’s all about “women saying yes to themselves” (http://godfatherpolitics.com/sologamy-the-sad-new-trend-among-feminists/), complete with “micro-moments of positivity.” You can even send away for an “I Married Me” kit, costing a mere $230. That doesn’t count the cost of having an actual ceremony, complete with gown, photos, guests, reception…

Never let it be said that an ounce of sanity remains to feminism.

Hmm… Can you still marry yourself if you’re “transitioning” to become someone or something else?

And what happens when you want a divorce?

They haven’t thought this through, have they?


Uncle Leester’s Rhyming Chess Tutor

Image result for images of funny chessmen

I don’t often review books that don’t exist, but this is one that ought to be: Uncle Leester’s Rhyming Chess Tutor, by yours truly.

No one will publish your chess book unless you’re an official and bona fide chess master. But what chess master knows how to communicate with beginners? What chess master knows how to write?

I stake pre-emptive claim to this idea. I am not a chess master, but if you’re just starting in chess, then I know more than you, so there. And this book is meant for you. Here are a few examples.

The Knight jumps over friend and foe/ His L-shaped move–just watch him go!

The fate of the Pawn is most lamentable:/ It always seems he’s quite expendable./ However, though it’s seldom seen,/Sometimes the Pawn is crowned a Queen.

There will also be a chapter on opening moves.

If you enjoy a wild melee,/ It’s the King’s Gambit you should play…

Or–

The under-rated Philidor/ Is guaranteed to raise a snore;/ But with his move of …2.d6,/ Black reaches into a bag of tricks…

I learned chess from other kids, on the playground, on the picnic table in my friends’ back yard across the street. No paid coaches. No computers. It’s a game, for Pete’s sake! Like Sorry or Monopoly. It’s supposed to be fun. It shouldn’t be all about gavones writing in to Bruce Pandolfini, “I have just signed my 4-year-old son to a contract with an expert chess instructor. How long will it take for him to become a Grand Master?”

The Rhyming Chess Tutor is guaranteed not to turn anyone into a Grand Master. Full refund, if it does!


We Gonna Be Gods!

One thing you can say for Satan: he’s never left the building.

I have stumbled over a highly-touted book, Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari, said to be on every  globalist big shot’s required reading list. It’s all about how “Our inheritors will be godlike” and achieve all sorts of neat stuff, like abolishing war and poverty and disease and getting eternal happiness, immortality, and lots of nookie (  https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/15/books/review-homo-deus-yuval-noah-harari.html ). Yeah, yeah… they always say that. Ever since the Serpent told Eve, “Ye shall be as gods.”

It’s full of really smart-sounding quotes like, “The free individual is just a fictional tale concocted by an assembly of biochemical algorithms.” Y’know, I’ve heard that before. Rutgers Biology, 1969. A lecture about how total government control of every aspect of our lives–the government advised by infallible scientists, of course–is necessary, inevitable, and totally great. Someone asked, “But what about our freedom and individuality?” Answered our classroom instructor (the lecture was on CCTV), “Those are obsolete concepts that must be engineered out of the system.” She was really good at sticking dissecting needles through the heads of live frogs, but seemed to have no other talents.

But! says Yuval. But we gotta  be careful, ’cause just when we’re really getting into being gods, Artificial Intelligence will evolve to become smarter than we are and it will exterminate us.

Some of these guys, I don’t think they actually have to work with real computers and therefor have no idea at all of how unreliable and erratic computers are. And they seem to be getting worse instead of better. And common sense seems to be in short supply, too. The idea that a lot of sinful, wishful-thinking, sophomoric, ignorant, incompetent bullshit artists can grant us eternal life and happiness–I mean, really! Find someplace where they’re selling brain cells, and buy a few.

I’m so glad so many important people read books like this. Knowing that helps me to understand why they behave like immoral and psychotic numbskulls. Even the former occupant of the White House, President *Batteries Not Included, once recommended Homo Deus on TV. As seen on TV! It just doesn’t get more authoritative than that.

Lord, anytime you’re ready…


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