Romance + Fantasy = Literary Vandalism

As I struggle to get anything done today, the perky publicist is at me again, this time trying to get me to review something that sounds like it might be one of the worst books ever.

Because I’m not going to read the blasted thing, I won’t give the title or the author’s name: no way anyone will be able to say I gave them a bum steer. Anyhow, what matters is some general principles.

Two unwholesome cliches are basic to this book–which, incidentally, is not self-published.

First, we have the Beautiful Female Police Officer who, it turns out, much to her surprise, is the daughter of a Greek god. Yeah, I guess that’d surprise most people–unless they read a certain kind of squishy, nauseating fantasy. Then they wouldn’t be surprised at all, because this daughter-of-a-pagan-god thing is done to death.

Second, we have her–let me quote it exactly, because there’s no way to paraphrase the bodacious awfulness of this–“saved by the man of her dreams–the tall, dark and sexy vampire named Xen Lyson.”

The publicist goes on to tell us that this author “lives with her husband and their Alpha and Beta children…” What is that? How are these different from regular children?

Are these writers and publishers and publicists trying to bury fantasy altogether? Put it out of business? Suffocate it under a mountain of tacky, unwholesome, unoriginal, stale, brainless, tiresome, lubber-headed garbage?

The sexy vampire–it ought to be a flogging offense. There’s a certain kind of romance mind-set, involving sex with entirely unsuitable objects, that totally makes me scheeve. You don’t go far in the romance genre without encountering this. To bring it into fantasy, too, is literary vandalism.


13 comments on “Romance + Fantasy = Literary Vandalism

  1. Yes, I get it, and I agree totally with you. What has really been disappointing to me in recent years is how this same, lame, tittilating trash has even invaded “Christian” movies. Scenes have been arbitratily inserted which totally disagree with Scripture. What a shame.

  2. In the film, Joseph, it shows him in a big bathtub sunken in the floor in Potiphar’s house with his wife trying to seduce Joseph, then later, while he is in prison, and has been summoned by Pharaoh to come before him, it shows him nude with two young women throwing bath water all over him.
    Now, it doesn’t show the entire nude body, but enough, and the suggestiveness is unmistakeable. Neither scene agrees in any way with the truth of Scripture.

    1. Was that the movie with Ben Kingsley? I don’t recall that scene.

      I’m thinking of a made-for-TV movie, some years ago, about Noah: in which Lot (!?) showed up as a pirate. In addition to being inaccurate and ignorant, it’s also plum crazy.

  3. No, it is not the Kingsley movie. I don’t remember the names of the actors, but really nobody familiar. Unfortunately, I do not have the move now. My late husband gave every movie to his daughter just before he died.

    1. Generally, I like “Bible movies.” But you’ve always got to be careful with them. Even in the best of them, liberties are taken which can’t always be excused.

  4. That’s what’s so disappointing – even in ‘documentaries’. Every time I watch one, I want to jump out of my chair and find myself yelling at the TV because they are misleading – sometimes outright lying – to people not well-versed in Scripture, which could be harmful and lead people to wrong conclusions.

    Did you see this? What do you think?

  5. I agree, Violet Crespucular, as teeth-gnashingly bad as she is, still have orders of magnitude more literary talent than someone whom would resort to offspring of Greek gods and sexy vampires. 🙂

    1. Oh, I don’t know … maybe the tall-dark-sexy vampire could turn out to be the dark Rodney we keep hearing about but who hasn’t shown up yet. (Hiding under the vicar’s wading pool, is he? Or off at the orthodontist trying to get something done about those enlarged eyeteeth?) 🙂

  6. R.J. Rushdoony commented back in the 1970’s how vampires, werewolves, and zombies become popular when a culture is in decline – he nailed that one through the heart. A movie awarded Oscars this year was “The Shape of Water” where a woman falls in love with a fish-man and their love is consummated (no, I did not go see this movie).

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