I don’t often review books that don’t exist, but this is one that ought to be: Uncle Leester’s Rhyming Chess Tutor, by yours truly.
No one will publish your chess book unless you’re an official and bona fide chess master. But what chess master knows how to communicate with beginners? What chess master knows how to write?
I stake pre-emptive claim to this idea. I am not a chess master, but if you’re just starting in chess, then I know more than you, so there. And this book is meant for you. Here are a few examples.
The Knight jumps over friend and foe/ His L-shaped move–just watch him go!
The fate of the Pawn is most lamentable:/ It always seems he’s quite expendable./ However, though it’s seldom seen,/Sometimes the Pawn is crowned a Queen.
There will also be a chapter on opening moves.
If you enjoy a wild melee,/ It’s the King’s Gambit you should play…
The under-rated Philidor/ Is guaranteed to raise a snore;/ But with his move of …2.d6,/ Black reaches into a bag of tricks…
I learned chess from other kids, on the playground, on the picnic table in my friends’ back yard across the street. No paid coaches. No computers. It’s a game, for Pete’s sake! Like Sorry or Monopoly. It’s supposed to be fun. It shouldn’t be all about gavones writing in to Bruce Pandolfini, “I have just signed my 4-year-old son to a contract with an expert chess instructor. How long will it take for him to become a Grand Master?”
The Rhyming Chess Tutor is guaranteed not to turn anyone into a Grand Master. Full refund, if it does!