New Book Says ‘Be Your Own God!’

Image result for Silly Expressions

Self-described “Alternative Theology” maven Joel C. Hodgepodge has come out with a new book which is virtually impossible to obtain, due to certain errors in the publishing process. It falls apart when you open it.

Undaunted, Hodgepodge has scheduled a speaking tour to promote Be Your Own God! The Ultimate Self-Help Manual.

“One day, about a year ago,” he says (you have to read the blurb quickly, because the cover tends to disintegrate when touched), “I noticed that when I was praying, I was, like, talking to myself. And then it hit me! Bam! We are all gods! We all create ourselves!”

The other night, on the Sappy Sapirstein radio show, Hodgepodge said, “Once you realize that you can choose your gender, anything is possible! You can even choose your species! Although I must warn you, if you choose to become an Airedale or a tent caterpillar, it’s kind of hard to change your mind and go back to being human. One of my disciples became a traffic safety cone and can’t seem to change  back.

“Y’see, Sappy, we actually create our own reality! The sages of the East have always known this, but in Kentucky we had to learn it from Science. Now we know that whatever Science says is real, is real. And Science is us!”

“Please get off my phone,” said Mr. Sapirstein.

Mr. Hodgepodge has thus far been unable to create his own talk radio show.

 

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations.

View all posts by leeduigon

3 responses to “New Book Says ‘Be Your Own God!’

  • UnKnowable

    Sounds about right. I think I’ll create a reality where I’m a billionaire and buy a new Ferrari with a personal check. 🙂

  • Linda Sorci

    I kinda like the traffic cone idea. Maybe the whole lib community will follow suit! What a great day that would be 🙂

  • Phoebe

    Hilarious! But I don’t think he’d be kicked off a radio program. He’d probably be given a government grant, an endowed chair at a university, and a permit to riot.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: