Pumpkin Spice Shuts Down High School!

Image result for images of pumpkin monster

Last month it was the shocking discovery that pumpkin spice latte is racist. Now pumpkin spice is in the news again. And this time it’s worse!

A high school in Baltimore had to be evacuated this afternoon. The fire department was called in, and then a hazmat team, and finally two students and three adults had to be taken to the hospital “with unknown injuries.” (http://www.wbaltv.com/article/cristo-rey-jesuit-hs-evacuated-in-baltimore/12788221)


Because somebody plugged in a pumpkin spice air freshener and it kinda smelt funny and, well, I guess everybody panicked. We do not know how five people got injured so badly that they had to be taken to the hospital. Running heedlessly down the stairs, maybe, fleeing the dreadful menace of the pumpkin spice?

We dare not imagine what will be pumpkin spice’s next caper. Today a hazmat team; tomorrow, the Navy SEALs?

P.S.–“Hazmat” is short for “hazardous materials.” It does not denote a nomadic Central Asian people with hairy hats.


6 comments on “Pumpkin Spice Shuts Down High School!

  1. This is the most insane thing I have heard yet. What on earth…! I have quite a bit of pumpkin spice (the normal kinds) in my kitchen. Do you think my home could be invaded?

  2. The power of suggestion. “You are a deplorable and unredeemable!” Yes, yes; I’ll never vote conservative again and do what ever you say. I’m so sorry for taking up space. How can I ever live with myself???

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