Category Archives: strange events

Now It’s a 10-Year-Old Motivational Speaker

(Thanks to Susan for the news tip.)

This is one of those things I wish I could unsee–a 10-year-old kid serving as a motivational speaker for his local high school football team.

Can you imagine the size of his ego by the time he’s twenty?

Really, this whole thing of being lectured to by children is getting out of hand. “I’ve seen a lot of things,” he declares. Must’ve been a busy ten years. And when he’s done, the whole roomful of hulking football players springs up to give him a standing ovation. I guess they can’t just go out there and play the freakin’ game. What is this–a high school football team, or the United Nations General Assembly?

The videos have gone viral on social media. Next thing you know, Junior’ll be doing Amway conventions.

‘This Just In’ (2014)

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Blink your eyes and you’ll miss it!

We may well ask, “Why in the world would anybody ever do such a thing?” It wasn’t like they were offering kingdoms and provinces as the prize for doing it. They weren’t even offering Quokka T-shirts.

But I have said too much already. To find out what this guy really won, open the link.

‘A Man Who Ran Out of Chances’ (2012)

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Stede Bonnet–one of the biggest damned fools you’ll ever meet in history

Imagine a young man, 28, who had a wife and children, a secure and honorable position in society, and more than adequate wealth…

Who tossed it all away to be a pirate (

It’s cold and rainy today, I can’t go outside to work on my book–and for some odd reason, my thoughts turned to Stede Bonnet, the man described above. Once upon a time I tried to write a novel about him. I did the research, including a reading of the whole transcript of his trial. But I gave it up because, no matter how much research I did, I simply couldn’t explain why Major Bonnet threw his life away–

Any more than I can understand why ours and other Western countries seem to be throwing away everything they have worth saving. Sanity? We don’t need no stinkin’ sanity! No! We want open borders, transgender, and a Green New Deal–just for starters.

Time and time again Bonnet passed up chances to save himself. Piracy wasn’t even a capital crime in 1718. He could have accepted amnesty. He could have gotten off with little or no punishment. But when the city of Charleston attempted to arrest him, Bonnet chose to fight it out, killing 20 of the city’s volunteers before they captured him. So they had him dead to rights for murder, and they hanged him for it.

What drives a man to make one disastrously bad decision after another? There was never a chance that anything he ever decided to do would turn out well.

If he were alive today, he’d be in Congress.


Doofus in the Lion’s Den

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We do not know why she did this.

This past weekend at the Bronx Zoo, some kook climbed into the lion enclosure and wobbled herself at a male lion, as if daring him to jump the ditch and eat her ( The NBC Nooze piece does not tell us how they got her out of there. Fortunately the lion didn’t seem to want to have much to do with her.

This reminds me of a story!

Coming home drunk, late at night, a husband decided he didn’t want to face his wife. Too beneered to see where he was going, he wound up at the local zoo, blundered into the lion cage, and fell asleep with his head pillowed on the lion.

Early the next morning his wife tracked him down and found him in the lion cage, just beginning to wake up.

“Come out of there, you coward!”

***    All right, so it wasn’t that funny. But it’s funnier than all the kooks we have on the loose, these days. No one at NBC seems to have asked anyone at the zoo what they thought the woman was trying to do. If the reporter went to journalism school, such a question would never have occurred to him.

High-Fashion Straitjackets? (Oh, Come On!)

Image result for images of houdini escaping from straitjacket

They never could invent one that would hold Houdini.

At last! Straitjackets as a fashion statement! Gee, thanks, Gucci–this is just what we’ve been needing.

An “activist model” who says she’s “non-binary”–and that she’s had her own mental health issues, from time to time–staged a protest of Gucci’s spring/summer collection at Milan Fashion Week, recently ( She thought trotting out straitjackets as a fashion statement was in poor taste. Ya think?

Gucci replied that they had no plans to sell the high-fashion straitjackets, but were only “making a statement” against uniformity, and how “power is exercised over life, to eliminate self-expression.” As Columbo would say, “That explains it.”

We were unable to find out whether architects have come on board with new houses that will contain rubber rooms.

If we put everyone in a straitjacket who needs one, these days, we’d have no politics. And there’d be nobody to staff our colleges and looniversities.

But making fun of Fashion Week is shooting fish in a barrel.

[Note: I gather that these are not real straitjackets–just designed to look like them.]

Are We ‘Summoning Entities Into Existence’? (Hint: No)

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H.P. Lovecraft with one of his imaginary playmates

The CEO of Kindred A.I. the other day ruffled some feathers by warning that “tech developers are summoning entities into existence” (

Say it ain’t so!

Warns the CEO, these “entities” will be (or already are) as indifferent to us as we are to ants: “they’re way smarter than every single person in this room, in ways that we can’t even comprehend.” Well, gee–not knowing who was in the room with him when he said that, we can only speculate. I mean, if it was Joe Biden and Rosie O’Donnell, he had a great chance of being right.

These scary entities that we’re going to summon into existence, he said, are “like Lovecraftian The Great Old Ones…” Those were monsters in H.P. Lovecraft’s fantasy/horror stories. Not intended to be taken seriously. We wonder whether Mr. CEO quite understands that.

Sorry, dude, but Shakespeare got in before you. He even got in before Lovecraft. Henry IV Part I, Act III, Scene 1.

Glendower: I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

Hotspur: Why, so can I, and so can any man. But will they come when you do call for them?

(Why do I think I hear someone crying, “Call for Phillip Morris”?)

See, beings either exist or they don’t. No yo-yo down here on earth can summon them into existence. We already have inborn human depravity and hosts of malevolent spiritual beings turned loose on us by Satan. What can some clowns with computers add to that?

HPL was only kidding; but this guy at Kindred is nuts.

Raining Like Crazy

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So we’re in the Stop & Shop buying our groceries for the week, this morning–Happy Labor Day, everybody–and we’re standing in the checkout line, with a guy behind us who looks just like Pat Morita but probably isn’t–

And suddenly everybody in the store looks up nervously, because it’s a deep drum-roll overhead, like giants are using the roof of the building for a party… And I’m thinking, “How many horror movies could you start with this exact scene?” But no one panicked because the store has windows and we could all see it was torrential rains making all that noise.

We had a few anxious moments, driving home. Patty gets nervous when we can’t see the road.

And now it’s let up. It stopped raining as soon as we got our groceries put away.

And Patty’s reading about “Flirty” the emotional support mini-horse who was taken aboard an airliner recently.

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As you can see, the mini-horse is no bigger than many service dogs that now fly aboard airliners without provoking astonishment. Except “Flirty” weighs two or three times as much as a dog the same size.

People sure are emotionally fragile these days, dontcha think?

‘Who’s Buried in Alexander’s Tomb?’

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The ancient world was full of all sorts of neat stuff that you can’t find anymore. All those fabulous treasures that Herodotus saw with his own eyes, and described for us… and the well-preserved body of Alexander the Great.

Back in 1991, a Greek archaeologist made a big splash for a couple days by claiming to have discovered where the body was hidden.

It seems reasonable to suppose that if it was still kicking around 500 years after Alexander’s death, it could have survived even longer, provided no one messed around with it. Alexander’s mother hated his father, so she taught him that his real father was Zeus, king of the gods–not that glorified peasant, Philip of Macedon.

It’s not good for anyone to believe things like that.

A Neighborhood Feud

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A woman in Manhattan Beach, California, has been accused of painting emojis on her house just to spite her neighbors; but she says it’s to cheer up the neighborhood.

Supposedly her neighbors reported her for renting the house, which the rules in that area say you can’t do, and she wound up being hit with a $4,000 fine. She then painted the emojis (

I think it looks kind of nice, but the neighbors say they’ll sue her if they can’t get the town to force her to get rid of the emojis.

Lighten up, folks.

But at least it’s not the Hatfields and McCoys.

Are People Getting Weirder?

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Some of you might find this anecdote a little gross, but stay with me: the point of it is to take note of a particularly puzzling example of weird behavior.

My wife’s doctor had her send away for a special stool sample kit. She was to provide a sample and send the whole thing back to the lab for testing.

Some weeks went by without the kit turning up in the mail. So finally she phoned the laboratory and asked why they hadn’t sent it.

Oh, but they had! They’d not only sent it, but it had already been sent back, complete with sample.

“But I never got it! That wasn’t me, who sent you that sample!” Happily, whoever had done it, had done it wrong and there was no point testing it.

But think about it. Suppose you receive in the mail a stool sample kit that you’d never asked for. What would you do? Uh, check the address, and if it came to you because the carrier misread the address, make sure it gets redirected to the right place? You may even live just a few doors down from the person who was supposed to receive it, and you can carry it over yourself.

Or maybe you’ll just leave the box on the foyer and tell your mail carrier he made a mistake.

Probably the last thing you’d even think of doing would be to provide a stool sample yourself and send it back to the lab for testing. Like, how many times does some stranger come out of the blue and ask you for a stool sample? Not even in San Francisco, baby! And if someone did ask you, would you oblige them? I’m not sure I want answers to these questions.

But even worse–what if this unknown kook hadn’t misapplied the instructions, and they tested the sample not knowing it had not been provided by the patient whom they were supposed to test? “Well, ma’am, we’re sorry to tell you this, but we’ve tested your sample and found you’re at high risk to turn into the Hideous Sun Demon! You’ll need all your internal organs operated on ASAP!”

I mean, what kind of weirdo does this? Shouldn’t you at least ask, Why does someone want a stool sample from me… and who is it who’s asking? And how many people are there out there wacky enough to do a thing like this?

I don’t know about you, but this incident really does strike me as surpassingly bizarre.

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