Category Archives: strange events

Another ‘Mysterious Human Relative’?

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Hail, hail, the gang’s all here…

Four teeth found in a cave–and we have yet another “mysterious human relative,” National Geographic has reported (https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/04/ancient-teeth-hint-at-mysterious-human-relative/).

“Many human species once walked the earth,” we are told, including whoever once had those four teeth, supposedly 200,000 years old. How do we know they’re that old? Honest answer: we don’t, really. It’s almost as problematic as dating ancient stone tools.

Hey, maybe this whoever-he-was is related to the Denisovans, a whole batch of people who supposedly branched off from the Neanderthals some 400,000 years ago. Our vast fund of knowledge about the Denisovans, according to National Geographic, consists of “three molars, a pinky, and a skull fragment.” Who could ask for more?

The problem with identifying these fossils, we read, is due to a lot of interbreeding going on, way back when, among the plethora of human species around at the time. I hope we all know that a pug and a schnauzer can interbreed and produce unusual-looking puppies: but despite how different the parents look from one another, they’re still dogs. If they were different species, they either couldn’t interbreed at all or, if they could, their offspring would be sterile, like mules.

So if all these folks were successfully interbreeding–and that was only a speculation–then that means they all belonged to the same species. Humans.

The first paratroopers had a motto, “It’s foolish but it’s fun.” Paleoanthropologists might want to borrow it.


‘When TV Personalities Spout Gibberish’ (2015)

Back in 2011 there were several incidents of TV personalities looking straight at the camera and spouting pure gibberish. By 2015, the cause of this was still unknown. Nor is it known today.

https://leeduigon.com/2015/01/21/when-tv-personalities-spout-gibberish/

The most famous victim of this weird affliction was Judge Judy, who had to stop taping her show because nothing but nonsense was coming out of her mouth. They rushed her to the hospital, but doctors could find no cause for the symptom. Soon it just went away.

It also happened to several noozies in the United States and Canada, while they were live on the air. Was it a mini-stroke? Tests couldn’t confirm that.

Back in the 1950s, novelist Hal Goodwin, writing as “John G. Blaine,” suggested a means by which this could be done to someone on purpose.

My original video link doesn’t work anymore, so let me see if I can find another one for you. OK, got one: see the video, above.

This happened to half a dozen other reporters as they were on the air. I have not heard that it has happened since; nor have I heard any explanation of it, beyond the really scary one offered by Hal Goodwin.


Crazy Cuisine: Fish and… Toothpaste?

Patty found this video while she was noodling around Youtube. Never mind the whole thing: we’re only interested in the first “genius kitchen hack”–

Which features squeezing out a line of toothpaste over your fish before you grill it.

Toothpaste? The video does not explain what this is supposed to accomplish. We searched around the internet, but even the hosts on other cooking videos admitted to being puzzled by this.

Like, you’re not really supposed to eat toothpaste–right? Or am I just being old-fashioned about this? We have not found a word of explanation as to any purpose for putting a lot of toothpaste on your fish.

Maybe you could serve it with toothpaste sandwich cookies.

I’m sure some of you out there are skilled in cookery. Have you ever heard of doing this? If you know the secret, please share it with the rest of us.


You Won’t Smile if You’re On This Candid Camera

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How would you like being banned from shopping in hundreds or even thousands of stores, because a security camera once caught you shoplifting? And how would you like it if you hadn’t shoplifted, the hi-tech fancy robots got it wrong, and you were severely punished for something you not only didn’t do, but had never even been arraigned and put on trial for?

They call it “facial recognition,” and there are no rules (https://www.cnet.com/news/with-facial-recognition-shoplifting-may-get-you-banned-in-places-youve-never-been/). If the robot says you’re guilty, that’s that. No appeal. In fact, you don’t need to commit a crime, to wind up on somebody’s watch list. Because there are no rules to decide who is to be put on the list, or why, or who is to be left off. Big Brother will be watching–all the time.

So far it’s not the government doing this (not that we know of!), but chains of stores, airports, concert venues, tunnel entrances–all private concerns. But don’t let that comfort you. If the police want to watch you closely, and can’t get a warrant for it–or would rather not ask any court for a warrant, because their case is too flimsy–how hard would it be for them to ask nicely for some store’s “facial recognition” watch list data? (I may not be using the right techno-terms here, but you know what I mean.) But at least if they arrest you, you’ll have a chance to defend yourself in court. If 500 stores ban you because a robot told ’em you’re a crook, you have no defense.

The freedom-eaters are hungry.


Authentic and Bona Fide Centaur Footage!

Hi! Mr. Nature isn’t here today, so it is I, Dr. Credulous, presenting overwhelming and undeniable proof that centaurs are really real!

Video doesn’t lie!

All right, I admit one of these five centaurs does look a little hinky, there just might be something about it that’s not 100% kosher. But the other four!

It is believed that Climate Change and Income Inequality have contributed to the increase in centaur sightings. And that makes perfect sense to me–because… I’m Dr. Credulous!


‘The Beast of Bodmin–Is It Real?’ (2016)

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Somewhere out on lonely Bodmin Moor prowls the deadly Beast of Bodmin, seeking to prey on anyone foolhardy enough to roam the moor by night…

https://leeduigon.com/2016/05/29/the-beast-of-bodmin-is-it-real/

All right, let’s say the Beast of Bodmin isn’t really, there’s no such thing, all the stories are baloney. But does that mean there never was a Beast? If not, where did all those stories come from? Welsh tales written down a thousand years ago, after having been handed down from one generation to the next over several centuries–did they do that just to confuse us, ages later?

I wonder how many hikers would take a dare to walk the moor at night.


‘Pooperintendent of Schools’ Seeks Revenge on Cops Who Busted Him

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For dogs… and the odd superintendent of schools

I suppose in an age when prostitutes are “sex workers” and vandals are “street artists,” and you can be fined or imprisoned for using the wrong pronoun, nothing should surprise us. But once again the nooze has come up with something.

The since-resigned Kenilworth Superintendent of Schools, the $147,504-a-year administrator who was busted last May for defecating on the Holmdel High School athletic field–hot dog, it wasn’t even his school district–is threatening to sue the Holmdel Police Dept. for ruining his life (https://www.wnd.com/2019/02/school-pooperintendents-life-has-been-ruined-attorney-says/).

Gee, I could’ve sworn he ruined his own life. I mean, taking a daily dump on public property–the public shouldn’t know what their lavishly-compensated “educator” gets up to?

It evokes a strange picture in the mind: this clown pooping on the 50-yard-line by the dawn’s early light. Maybe they could make a movie of it.

Anyhow, he’s seeking up to $1 million in damages for “what the Holmdel Police Dept. has so maliciously done to harm him,” said his lawyer, in a 10-page letter to the New Jersey Attorney General.

What they did was release the guy’s booking photo to the public. I dunno anymore–aren’t you supposed to be shamed and held up as a laughing-stock, when you do what this guy did? Or is it that there’s no such thing as shameful anymore? No more prostitutes, just sex workers. Didn’t he ruin  his own life? Didn’t he put himself in a position to be the butt of jokes by late-night comics on TV? Has he not got no one but himself to blame?

“I had a bathroom emergency,” he said. What–every day? He says he’s been diagnosed with “runner’s diarrhea” (he’s a jogger, don’t you know)–so don’t you do something about that, instead of just letting the chips fall where they may? I mean, couldn’t he at least have carried a couple of plastic grocery bags with him, to pick up his poop? People snicker at his kids–well, whose fault is that?

One thing’s certain: if he really does go to court over this, it’ll bring a whole new wave of “pooperintendent” jokes at his expense and make it just that much harder for Father Time to wipe away the public’s memory. But then a million bucks is a million bucks.

Maybe he could get a job in San Francisco. No one would notice there.


‘Minotaur on the Loose!’ (2016)

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In my father’s old Boy Scout handbook there was a chapter on how to identify various animals’ footprints. Would you believe it? No minotaur footprints!

https://leeduigon.com/2016/01/30/minotaur-on-the-loose/

The original Minotaur was a bull-headed monster that lived in the original Labyrinth and ate original Greeks. It was killed either by Theseus or Casey Stengel, I forget which one.

The biggest and costliest public education system ever devised by human beings…


Really, if the Jackalope Isn’t Real…

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As long as we’re talking alternate reality, I simply must put in a word for the jackalope.

Skeptics say the jackalope’s not real–but pictures don’t lie! Jackalopes proliferate–am I allowed to use that word? it looks a lot like “pro-life”–during periods of Global Warming and Hate Speech, thriving on Income Inequality, Nationalism, and Transphobia. This is settled science, so everybody just shut up about it.

I think I might have seen one at our supermarket this morning, just as it ducked out of sight near the Easter candy display. Then again, it might have just been a store employee tidying the shelves.


‘Alternate Reality Gaming’–in Spades

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As you read this, remind yourself that our country boasts the biggest, costliest public education system ever devised by human beings.

Here is some of what we get for it.

A dot on a map of New Jersey called “Ong’s Hat,” in the heart of the Pine Barrens, has fascinated people for years. What kind of town would have a name like that? Patty and I went there once, just to see it for ourselves. But there was nothing to see: just a lot of trees and a little-traveled road.

And then one Joseph Matheny in the 1990s invented an Internet game called “Ong’s Hat,” billed as “the secret to interdimensional travel.” And it took off.

“Alternate reality gaming” fans flocked to Ong’s Hat–which, remember, is nothing in particular–looking for a secret laboratory where rogue scientists discovered a way to visit parallel universes: not to mention the parallel universe now inhabited by some of these gamers. The most popular local legend had it that the place got its name from a man named Mr. Ong who, exasperated by a fight with his girlfriend, threw his hat into the air and lost it when it got caught in a tree. But now it was seen to be the nexus of a lot of far-out, conspiratorial goings-on. Gamers even went to Matheny’s house in California to peer through his windows, trying to spy out clues to the secret.

Finally, having decided that enough was enough already, Matheny discontinued the game in 2001. But a lot of people didn’t believe him when he said it was only a game that he’d made up. Sort of like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle refusing to believe Houdini’s admission that he had no genuine magical powers. “Yeah, right!” said Doyle.

Just this morning my editor, Susan, and I were talking about people who can’t seem to understand that science fiction isn’t real; and then Patty read me this article about the Ong’s Hat game which, for some, mutated into a full-blown delusion.

There is no interdimensional travel. There are no starships capable of faster-than-light “warp speed.” No time travel, no evidence that anything like a parallel universe exists, no Slender Man–and there was no secret science project headquartered in the nowhere that is Ong’s Hat.

And they say we’re credulous for believing the Bible.

Maybe we should’ve spent more time in college.


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