Category Archives: strange events

Still Plenty of Daftness to Go Around

Chocolate Labrador retriever in car in driver's seat Stock Photo ...

This story is a bit hard to believe–well, more than a bit–but it seems to be true.

After a high-speed chase, sometimes at 100 mph, Washington State police had to use spike strips to stop a car that had already smacked into two other cars without stopping. Only then did they find… a dog in the driver’s seat (https://news.yahoo.com/us-man-teaching-dog-drive-arrested-high-speed-001940478.html).

The pit bull’s owner was in the passenger seat so he could reach over and steer, sort of, and work the gas pedal. He admitted he was trying to teach the dog to drive. Police charged him with several offenses, including driving while under the influence of drugs. The dog has been placed in an animal shelter.

Are we to feel encouraged because there are still daft people doing daft things, never mind the stupid pandemic?

I don’t know how to answer that.


‘Jackalope Captured Alive!’ (2016)

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If this doesn’t prove that Man-Made Climbit Change is real, I don’t know what will.

https://leeduigon.com/2016/02/14/jackalope-captured-alive/

Actually, I’m kind of content not to know what proves Man-Made Climbit Change is real. This gap in my knowledge doesn’t feel like a gap at all. More like something’s missing that shouldn’t be there anyway.

Besides, it’s a known fact that only drips are afraid of jackalopes.


‘The Limitations of the Human Mind’ (2013)

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Ah! Those “What have I done??” moments!

It shouldn’t even be necessary to mention the limitations of the human mind, in an age that has produced Obamacare and the assorted monstrosities of public education. Whatever else we may be, we ain’t that smart!

https://leeduigon.com/2013/04/26/the-limitations-of-the-human-mind/

I’m still wondering about those freakin’ needles. How could they not be there, again and again, and suddenly they’re there?

Humility is a virtue, but our age views it as a defect.

Our age is profoundly stupid.


Can They Get Rid of the Ghost? (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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Economic ruin threatens Scurveyshire! The Lying Tart is haunted!

Violet Crepuscular introduces Chapter CCCXLIX (aren’t Roman numerals cool? We ought to have more of them) of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney: “Dear readers, allow me to introduce Chapter CCCXLIX of my epic romance, Oy, Rodney.

“It has been insinuated by certain lewd persons that I do not know what to do about the White Lady of The Lying Tart. Nothing could be farther from the truth! As a matter of fact, my old next-door neighbor, old Mrs. Pettifog, had a ghost in her house for years. It used to summon unwanted taxicabs to her house. But when she finally turned to me, I was able to send the ghost packing by offering it a dish of my famous toothpaste wontons, also known as Wanton Wontons. So let’s have no more of this loose talk! I am perfectly capable of dealing with a ghost.”

In making this defense, she has lost the thread of the chapter and is unable to get back on track until Chapter CCCLII.

It seems the Wise Woman of the Gaol, who used to be the Wise Woman of the Woods, has gotten rid of the ghost by offering it toothpaste wontons. Not only has the ghost flown the coop, but the landlord at The Lying Tart has now added a popular side dish to his menu.

But none of this seems to advance the efforts of Lord Jeremy Coldsore and Lady Margo Cargo, the richest widow in Scurveyshire (for those reader who have forgotten who she is), to finalize their marriage with a wedding. Meanwhile, the Wise Woman of the Gaol has been released from gaol (they insist on spelling “jail” as “gaol”–Ms Crepuscular is an Oscar Wilde fan, it seems) and is now The Wise Woman of The Lying Tart, and in great demand as a fortune-teller and a source of marital counseling.

And here the chapter comes crashing to an end. No one knows why.


Don’t Eat This Stuff

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My wife, who is fascinated by such things, has been watching videos of some of the more dangerous types of food poisoning. No, I’m not going to link to any of them. Just listening from elsewhere in the room made me feel kind of oogy, and I’d rather not pass that on to any of you.

Nevertheless, I’ve picked up a few helpful hints which I will pass on.

*Pasta with sauce that’s been lying around for five days or so–please don’t eat that. A guy on one of the videos did just that, and it killed him.

*”Eating around” the moldy spots in bread, or the rotten spots in apples, is not safe.

*”Gas station sushi”–uh-uh.

*”Gas station anything,” including hot dogs–steer clear.

*Plucking food out of a dumpster, that someone else has thrown away, and you collect it because it’s cool to eat for free and maybe you’re Saving The Planet while you’re at it–what are you, crazy? People actually do this? And not because they’re starving, either.

I had no idea there were so many painful and long, drawn-out ways of committing culinary suicide. And so many people willing to try them. To what extent have they been inspired by really stupid videos they’ve seen on social media?

One is left very nearly speechless.


Follow the Bouncing Bison

This is something we don’t get to see much of, here in New Jersey. Several people in my neighborhood have trampolines in the back yard, but you never see anyone, human or animal, using them.

The bison in this video clearly wants to use the trampoline, and is just as clearly miffed not to find it in working order. He acts like he’s used a trampoline before, but it’s possible he’s only trying to give that impression.


‘A Live Woolly Mammoth’? (2016)

I just can’t make up my mind about the video included in this post. Is it real? But no, it can’t be. There are no more mammoths–not even in Siberia.

https://leeduigon.com/2016/02/20/a-live-woolly-mammoth/

Siberia’s a big place, though. And we know now (or at least are pretty sure we know) that there were still mammoths living on Wrangel Island while the Egyptians were building the pyramids.

I would like there to be mammoths still. Somewhere.


Memory Lane: Hillary as a Man

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The do-over was even worse.

Hoo boy! Remember this?

Unable to imagine how their idol, Hillary Clinton, could have lost the 2016 presidential election to hated-by-all-the-smart-people Donald Trump, a couple of professors at New York University, in 2017, staged a creative experiment (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=8889).

To test their theory that Hillary only lost because hateful stupid American voters were prejudiced against a woman, the profs re-enacted the presidential debate as close to verbatim as possible, down to facial expressions and hand gestures–with one difference. In the re-enactment, Donald Trump is a woman and Hillary Clinton is a man.

Imagine their horror when the audience found Hillary even more revolting as a man–downright “punchable,” one woman said–and Trump even more likeable as a woman.

So much for their theory. See? There is such a thing as a dumb political scientist.

I only refer back to this weird incident because I and several other observers think there’s a good chance Hillary will again be the Democrats’ presidential candidate.

She has not gotten more likeable since 2016. Let’s hope she takes the whole evil party down in flames with her.


Woman Threatens McDonald’s When They Wouldn’t Give Her Free Sauce

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Here’s a novel way to start a new year!

A Florida woman was arrested last week when she threatened employees at a McDonald’s stand because they wouldn’t give her free dipping sauce (https://nypost.com/2020/01/07/florida-woman-arrested-for-threatening-to-get-mcdonalds-sauce-by-any-means-necessary/), declaring that she would use “any means necessary” to get it. Her tantrum frightened the crew enough to make them call the police–who had to carry her out to the squad car.

The dipping sauce in question would have cost her an extra 25 cents. So for 25 cents she went off her rocker. Apparently paying an extra quarter wasn’t included in “any means necessary.” Good thing she wasn’t armed.

The incident happened at around 4 a.m. New Year’s morning.

We’re seeing a lot of this lately, individuals blowing their stacks for incredibly trivial reasons. What is driving this?

This is our post-Christian loony-tunes participation-trophy culture melting down.

Kill the culture, and it’ll kill you back.


‘The Bloody Mystery of “The Beast of Gevaudan”‘ (2014)

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An out-of-place and drastically overgrown thylacine? Naah–couldn’t be!

Things like this just don’t happen today. They are preserved in history.

During 1764 through 1767, a rural region in France was terrorized by a wild animal called “the beast of Gevaudan.” Incredibly, it attacked some 200 people, with 90 fatalities. Survivors described it as an extra-large wolf; but some contemporary illustrators drew it with a long, stiff tail unlike any wolf’s. Besides, wolves hunt in packs; the Beast hunted alone.

The royal government sent special hunters to kill it, there were at one time an estimated 10,000 hunters tracking it–and finally a local man shot it dead.

https://leeduigon.com/2014/01/19/the-bloody-mystery-of-the-beast-of-gevaudan/

The rest is very much a mystery.

 


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