‘Chimp/Human Hybrid Born–Then Killed’ (2018)

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This was a major story on The Drudge Report three years ago–a sign that Drudge was nearing its sell-by date.

Chimp/Human Hybrid Born–Then Killed

Yeah, okay, surely there’s some kook out there who would like to create animal-human hybrids. Maybe they could be turned into superheroes. Oyster Man. Hamster Woman. But if “scientists” did all the things they’d like to do, we’d already be extinct.

This is the kind of story that gives a news site a bad reputation.

‘You Can’t Make Up This Stuff’ (2016)

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Maybe the judge never saw a war movie?

How stupid can stupid be?

Don’t ask! You might get blown up.

You Can’t Make Up This Stuff

How many times do you reckon a hand grenade has gone off inside a courtroom? And how many witnesses, do you suppose, would answer the question “How does it work?” by pulling the pin?

If snails were this stupid, they’d crawl backwards.

Should You Spray Your Hair with Gorilla Glue?

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Uh… I’m guessing “no.”

But that’s just me. A young woman in Louisiana recently ran out of her regular hairspray and sprayed her hair with Gorilla Glue instead–with rather distressing, but not unexpected, results. So she thinks she’s gonna sue Gorilla Glue for not warning people not to use it as hairspray (https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/woman-styled-hair-gorilla-glue-considering-lawsuit). The label does say not to use it on skin or eyes, but no one thought to warn users off using Gorilla Glue as hairspray.

Probably shouldn’t use it as any part of sex play, either. Betcha the warning label doesn’t mention that.

You wonder why companies have to adorn their products with what appear to be purely ridiculous warning labels. Do Not Operate Chain Saw in Bed. Remove Sun Shield Before Driving.

Well, we see what happens when they don’t post those warnings. They get sued. Somebody does something really dumb and the company gets sued.

The woman with the glue in her hair had to go to the emergency room. We are not told whether the hospital staff was able to solve her problem.

‘So Noah Had a Cell Phone?’ (2018)

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Who you gonna call?

Just in case you thought only Western scientists get really silly, here’s some stiff competition from Turkey, University of Istanbul, via public television.

So Noah Had a Cell Phone?

Even if you grant that everything the guy said was possible–where’s his evidence? Has he got a display case full of prehistoric cell phones? Any steel left over from 4 or 5,000 B.C.?

But if it’s teaching us nothing else, our current era teaches this: “So who needs evidence?”

Brooklyn Woman Snaps, Wrecks Cars

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Why in the world did this happen?

Friday night in Brooklyn, a 21-year-old woman stole a mail truck and purposely crashed it into “at least ten” parked cars before she was captured by police (https://nypost.com/2021/01/15/woman-allegedly-steals-usps-truck-crashes-into-cars-in-nyc/). We haven’t been told who she is or why she did this. One of the parked cars she rammed was a police car. She carried out her thrill ride for seven blocks before the truck conked out. They caught her as she tried to run away.

No, our culture is not at all right.

Every day we hear reports of crazy incidents like this. What’s going on here?

But I suppose that in a country where you can steal a national election and get away with it, nothing’s off the table.

Kill the culture, and it’ll kill you back.

‘Reporter’ Destroys What He Was Sent to Report

If this one little incident doesn’t tell us everything we need to know about “journalism” today, we’re just not paying attention.

Some poor guy takes 12,000 Jenga blocks, and who knows how many hours, to create a detailed replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He’s excited because he’s set a world’s record and the Guinness people are coming to confirm it.

But first comes the… reporter. Who of course winds up destroying what he was supposed to cover.

Certainly one of the most horrifying videos I’ve ever seen.

 

My Newswithviews Column, Dec. 24 (‘Did We See… a Pterodactyl?’)

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I don’t know about you, but I needed a break from politics. After all, it’s Christmas.

So I wrote about our pterodactyl. I’m sure I’m the only Newswithviews columnist who’s seen a pterodactyl.

Did We See a… Pterodactyl?

Yes, I know, the libs will jump all over it. “See? See? We toldja he was crazy!” But as Lou Costello once said, I saw what I saw when I saw it–and I don’t care what a bunch of leftids think. They believe in much more ridiculous things than the occasional pterodactyl. I prefer not to mention any of them here.

P.S.–Don’t forget out cyber-Christmas party! All are welcome! Bring imaginary snacks and board games and party fixin’s. We’re going to have a blast!

‘Did We See a Pterodactyl?’ (2017)

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If you make a habit of looking up at the sky, you’ll see some pretty strange things.

Like this.

Did We See a Pterodactyl?

So was it a pterodactyl? Really? In Holmdel Township, New Jersey? How could that possibly be so?

But that’s what it looked like. That’s the only think it looked like.

‘Damned If They Do, damned If They Don’t’ (2017)

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Some years ago, a bunch of Italian scientists got sent to prison for failing to predict an earthquake.

Damned if They Do, Damned if They Don’t

I’m sure they would’ve gotten in just as much trouble if they had predicted an earthquake and it never happened–town evacuated, looters have a field day. etc.

This is what happens when your country, like Italy, sets up a National Commission for the Forecast and Prevention of Major Risks. Once you’ve got the plebs paying you to play God, you find out it’s not such an easy gig!

But you’re stuck with it, sunshine–because that’s humanist ideology: with The Smartest People In The World in charge of everything, nothing can ever go wrong! Unless, of course, some bad egg doesn’t do his job, or actively subverts Incredibly Smart Policies.

Can you blame Him for being mad at us?

‘Star Wars’ Pastor Doesn’t Want His Church to be ‘Too Christian’

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What is the point of celebrating Christmas as a scene from a “Star Wars” movie?

I guess you’d have to ask the nut who did it.

‘Star Wars’ Pastor Doesn’t Want His Church to Be ‘Too Christian’

Really, I don’t think there’s any city block in Western Europe where they really have to worry about coming off as “too Christian.” Do these people not understand that “Star Wars” is a movie–something that someone made up?

But then we have a church where the pastor wears a Spider Man costume, so I guess we’re not that much better off.

It’s no mystery, why God is mad at us.