Who Was That Crazy Swordsman? (Hint: Me)

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My neighbor Jay suggested I share this story with you. Well, we can all use a laugh.

Years ago, I embarked on an intensive training regime with the bokken, the wooden sword. My workouts were long and grueling. And once upon a winter night, with deep snow on the ground, and the air as cold as anyone could wish, I was outside on the sidewalk, plying my sword.

It was hard work, and it made me hotter and hotter. So first I took off my jacket. Then my shirt. And finally my T-shirt.

As I continued, someone pulled up to the curb and stopped, probably waiting to pick up someone else. As he waited, he played real loud crummy awful stupid music. It shot my concentration. But rather than abort my session, I walked up to the car and tapped on the door with my bokken.

“Excuse me, sir, but could you turn the music down a bit?”

The guy stared at me goggle-eyed. Stammered, “Sure, man, sure! Anything you say, man!” And he turned off the music and drove away. Fast.

Well, he didn’t have to go that far, I thought, as I walked back up the sidewalk. And then I saw my shadow.

My hair was all over the place, and there was a ton of steam coming off my body. That’s what the guy in the car saw–not forgetting that I had a sword in my hand. Heck, I only saw the shadow, and it gave me a turn. The guy’s sitting there in his car on a winter night, and out of the snow comes this steaming apparition with a sword. Adios, muchacho.

If we could see ourselves as other see us…

9 comments on “Who Was That Crazy Swordsman? (Hint: Me)

    1. I’ve always been afraid the readers wouldn’t like it. Besides, I don’t have a character who’s a real swordsman. There’s Helki with his rod, and Martis with his, well, tricks… Well, maybe someday.

  1. So YOU’RE the guy that scared me out of New Jersey. I thought it was a Jersey Devil and drove west until my car broke down in Arizona. 🙂

  2. Wow, that is really funny. My first chuckle of the day. Encore, encore!
    My stupid internet has been down and up, up and down again today. I’m glad I didn’t miss this one.

  3. Can I hire you this summer to pay a call on the owners of the nightspot down the street when they play loud music on their patio? 🙂

    1. I find it hard to give off steam in the summer, but I could give it a try.
      Loud music is a particularly noxious form of aggression that should be punished with the utmost severity.

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