Three sixth-graders, 11-year-olds, have been arrested and charged with “hate” and “insurrection” for alleging that the newly-discovered and utterly fabulous dinosaur, Joebidenosaurus, is a fraud. Their names are being withheld from the press. In fact, their school now denies they ever existed.
Joebidenosaurus, discovered by the Democrat National Committee expedition to–well, they won’t tell us where–was 1,000 feet long, 500 feet high, and could fly. “It was the greatest dinosaur ever,” said the expedition leader, whose name is being withheld to protect him from Haters. “It was sort of a real big brontosaur with a Tyrannosaurus head and great big wings.”
In a makeshift scientific paper circulated on the school playground, the three children who are undoubtedly guilty falsely and baselessly claimed that the DNC reconstruction of Joebidenosaurus would have required the dinosaur to walk backwards, that there was no room in its skull for a brain (the whole cranial cavity being filled with lies), that its neck would not have been capable of lifting its head off the ground, and that its difficulties in movement would have kept it confined to an enormously large basement.
“It’s a clear case of insurrection, and those kids should never, ever come out of jail,” said the Democrat Congressman who farts a lot. No other expedition members have been allowed to comment.