Ma, maaa, they put a shift on me!!
Go ahead, take a good look all around–and tell me we’re not living in Stupidworld.
Here’s Majuh League Base Ball’s contribution to the overall stupidity.
For those who don’t know, baseball managers can rearrange the defensive alignment on the field to try to decrease the batter’s chance of getting a hit. If he’s a guy who hits mostly to right field, the defensive players shift over to right field–sometimes leaving left field all but empty. Baseball teams have been doing this since the 1870s. They even do it in slow-pitch softball.
MLB wants to ban it so as to generate more hitting and higher batting averages.
This is why I don’t watch baseball anymore. Heck, why don’t they just put in a batting tee? Or tie the outfielders’ shoelaces together? Man, if you can’t hit through the shift, or foil it simply by hitting the ball to the empty side of the field, you don’t belong there in the first place!
Every innovation they’ve made to baseball since the 1980s has only eroded its quality. I mean, of course some gavone is gonna hit .300, if they won’t allow the defense to take his batting style into account. Then he can appear in commercials as a big star. Feh. Phony! Booyabumya!
And then they’ll have the chutzpah to compare these pampered palookas with real ballplayers who had real achievements…
And a 5-cent pack of baseball cards, without the gum, now costs $2.50. There is only one answer to all this: