G’day, boys ‘n’ girls! Byron the Quokka here, with Quokka University’s iconic TV offerings. I don’t know what that word “iconic” means, but everybody uses it now! You’ll want to use it, too, after you see these shows.
4:30 P.M. Ch. 03 MR. & MRS. DO-NOTHING–Philosophy sitcom
Mr. and Mrs. Do-Nothing (Andy Devine, Willa Cather) really do do nothing! They don’t say much, either. This week: Little Ernie Do-Nothing (Billy Gilbert) seems to be welded to his desk and chair in school; but Dr. Slopp (Paul Simon) is sure he’s still alive.
Ch. 14 MAMBO WITH THE MAMBAS–Survival game show
The African Black Mamba is among the most poisonous snakes in the world–and how about a dance-floor swarming with them? Join host Bobby Kaput as contestants try to mambo across the floor without getting bitten. Special guest stars: The June Taylor Dancers.
4:47 Ch. 66 MOVIE–(Modern dance Western)
In Rawhide Ballet (United Nations Pretentious Movie Agency, 2014: 314 minutes), a crew of interpretive ballet dancers (Clint Eastwood, with the Paris Ballet School for Wifty Men) must drive a herd of cattle from Lincoln Center (New York) to Jakarta (Indonesia)–practicing their dance moves all along the way! With “Giant Squid” effects by Squids ‘R’ Us.
5 P.M. Ch. 11 EYEWITLESS NEWS–News for ninnies
“We investigate what nobody else ever bothers with!” boasts anchor Mary Sue Gesundheit. This week: “Can Wooden People Get Pregganant?” You probably already know the answer to that question, but reporter Gig Twigg investigates it anyway. Sponsored by U-Fixit Plumbing Inc.
Well, that should get you started! We didn’t have this kind of TV before humans came to Rottnest Island. Now it’s the only kind we know!
Is that my TV set warming up, over there? Byron the Quokka, signing off.
Good on ya, Byron. You are on it as usual.
MR. & MRS. DO-NOTHING–Philosophy sitcom – Hey Byron, is it true that this program is being sued by Jerry Seinfeld for plagiarism? MAMBO WITH THE MAMBAS–Survival game show – I heard Indiana Jones is supposed to be a contestant on this one, is that correct? MOVIE–(Modern dance Western) – Sorry, Byron, but I don’t imbibe anything related to the hated U.N. and their dictators. EYEWITLESS NEWS–News for ninnies – Now this program seems to have potential. I have often wondered how certain animals can change their sex gender back and forth.