The title says it all.
I thought all was going along just fine. That should have been a big clue, because nobody does just fine in my current position. Losing the love of your life leaves nobody just fine.
This morning my wheels fell off–I did nothing but cry, could not function, and forgot everything I had ever learned about operating WordPress.
So I took the morning off and wept.
Yes, I have a wonderful daughter. And I love her. But she is not Lee. And nobody ever will be.
I do feel a lot better now, and thank you all for letting me have my tantrum
God bless everybody
Patty
You did just the right thing. Let the tears fall, and don’t resist it, this is a natural outlet. While the overall hope our Creator holds out is comforting, for the long run, the hurt of today is real.
You’ve done well, and I believe that keeping this blog going has helped. As to processing grief, it is a matter of preponderance. When something emotionally painful happens, a person may feel the full weight of grief much of the time, with only brief periods of respite, but as time passes, the proportions shift, and the truly bad times become less common.
Eventually, a balance is achieved and while it’s not even desirable to completely eradicate the sorrow of a loss, it becomes much more bearable. Just yesterday, for reasons unknown, my mind was drawn to the loss of my father, over 40 years ago. The sadness has never left, completely, and I’m glad of that, but it’s long since become more a nostalgia than a sense of bitter loss.
Keep moving, day by day, and you’ll find your way through. You truly are doing well.
Thank you so much, it is truly very, very,, hard. Patty
It will get better. It might not seem that way at times, but it will.
Prayers for you, Patty.
Thank you–it does help. Patty
Love the picture. A writer’s peaceful setting. Praying for you Patty.
Thank you, I am truly trying to keep my head on straight. Not easy
Thank you, your words are a real help–they truly are.
Thank you-so much.
Sending love and prayers for comfort. I’m so sorry for your loss, Party. My heart just breaks for you 😢🫂💔🙏
Thank you so much–this is hard. Patty
Thank you–it means a lot.
Word press seems to be moving comments around–if they are a little disjointed, please excuse me. It is WordPress. Patty
When my daughter’s hair started falling out from the chemotherapy I gave her permission to cry.
I keep trying to leave comments but WordPress keeps throwing them all away. I’ll try again: Crying is okay and often cathartic and almost comforting. Dickens calls weeping the release of an overburdened heart.
I understand. I’ve been there. I continue to hold you in prayer.
Thank you Phoebe–Wordpress can be maddening sometimes.
There is a huge hole in your life right now. It’s going to take time to get used to it being there. It never really goes away. May God grant you comfort and peace in this most difficult time.
Yes, it is and I am grateful for your prayers and kind words. Patty
Nice picture of Lee.
Patty, it’s been over four years since Maribeth passed away, and not a week goes by that I don’t weep. However, it really does get better, the hurt and pain will never go away, but time does heal, just a bit. And after a while it really does become bearable.
You seem to be doing much better then I, after my love passed on. For months after, I just couldn’t do much, the task I had given myself of taking care of the environment, the road in front of my apartment, the plants, picking up the trash and so forth, went undone for months, and it began to turn into a jungle, and a big mess once again.
But you have kept this blog going. At this stage in your grief you are doing just fine. You are going along just fine. For your current position, of missing Lee, the love of your life, its true nobody is just fine. Moreover, it’s okay to just cry, all day if you must. You could not function … most folks can’t either. Its normal, just a part of life, the grieving part, that all who have lost a husband or wife experience. You only took the morning off to weep, I took over a month. Some need more time to grieve, others a lot less. Whatever time you need, take it, its normal.
No matter how wonderful, or loving our children may be, no child or close friend can replace the one that has now departed.
Our prayers are spoken each day for you. May the Lord spread His wings of love and friendship over your life, and grant you strength, peace, serenity, solace, and comfort.
To let everyone, know, we are okay, in case anyone has heard, we had a 7.6 earthquake this morning. I’m on the southernmost island, Mindanao.
Good to know.
Is everybody OK? Was there a lot of damage? Patty
That’s a pretty big earthquake., Hope all is well. Patty
Thank you so much, Mike. I know in my mind that things will get better with time, but your mind and your heart can react differently. Patty
Thank you again, Mike for your understanding. Patty
I didn’t have time to leave an informative message yesterday. Here’s an update.
Things were really moving here, all day yesterday. About 10 in the morning a 7.6 quake hit our area (some reports state it was 7.9). Followed by many after shocks throughout the day. About 6 that evening, another powerful 6.8 quake jolted our island.
During the last big 7.6 quake about two years ago, I was in our 2nd floor apartment. This time, I had just stepped outside, and noticed the motorcycle and pickup truck, parked next to the door were quivering, and then I felt the ground moving, as the quake intensified. The truck began to shake considerably and bounce, so much so, that the tires almost left the ground.
It was much better to be outside of our building during a quake, then inside, and praying it would stay in one piece. Still, I prayed our apartment and every business and every home would still be standing when it ended. Watching your home shake and jolt, creek and groan, not knowing if there would be a pile of rubble a minute from now, is something that is not a pleasant experience to go through.
People poured out of their homes, as it kept getting stronger. There were at least three very strong jolts, during the intense minute, before it tapered off. I felt very unsteady for about 5 minutes after the worst was over, for the ground was still stirring, as if rearranging and preparing for another round. The next round came 7 hours later. Not as strong, but still could rearrange things in your home if not nailed down.
The quake was so strong, it was felt all across Mindanao, the second largest island in the Philippines. There was a tsunami warning, but it never materialized. At least 70 people were killed, many in the large southern city, Davao City. It’s hard to find accurate information, but some buildings (maybe a lot) did crumble in Davao City and there was a lot of damage to the infrastructure (bridges, hospitals, schools’ and homes). The international airport building in Davao sustained a few cracks, but the airport remained operational with no flights cancelled.
Here in San Fran, part of a mall came down. As far as I know, most other buildings and homes are still in one piece with little damage. Our power was out for an hour.
The country is still assessing the full extent of the damage.
Both earthquakes occurred along the massive Philippine Trench, off the eastern seaboard. A place where tectonic plates collide, an active subduction zone thus, a major source of seismic activity for our region. The trench stretches for approximately 820 miles along the eastern side of the Philippines, from Luzon in the north to the Indonesian island of Halmahera in the south.
It’s one of the deepest oceanic trenches in the world. At its deepest point, the Emden Deep, it plunges to a depth of 34,580 feet.
Here’s another fun fact, The Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (PHIVOLCS) has confirmed that parts of the trench are capable of producing earthquakes with a magnitude of over 8.0, which could lead to tsunami waves of 8 to 10 meters high.
Yeah, 8.0 magnitude, knowing that makes me sleep so much better.
Wow! I’m glad you’re ok, after all of that.
Mike, I am so glad that you are all right. I couldn’t imagine experiencing such an event.
It is truly frightening. Patty