One of the things that makes it so easy to be a liberal is that you behave the same way, no matter what the occasion. With this in mind, it’s necessary to redefine some of our more common social rituals.
Funeral: A political event in which participants take the occasion to denounce their political rivals, who are barred from attending, let alone speaking. The dear departed is a prop.
Christening: A political event in which participants take the occasion to denounce their political rivals. The baby is a prop.
Wedding: A political event in which participants take the occasion to denounce their political rivals. The bride and groom are props.
See how easy it is? Any churl can do it.