Creepy Visions of the Future

When most people put Mentos candy into a bottle of soda, as seen in this video, they get a kind of eruption. But my friend Mr. Frothee, when he does it, gets visions of the future. Like these.

*America now has a “social credit system,” like China’s. You gain points for doing and saying things the government approves of; and then you’re allowed to do things like buy food, ride the bus, or replace broken shoelaces. If your social credit rating goes down, you lose your privileges.

*Every four years, Emperor Michael Bloomberg appoints the president and members of Congress. He has spent $20 billion to amend the Constitution to this extent. “But it was worth it,” he says.

*Three out of five Americans now live in collective community residences. (“These are not nice places,” says Mr. Frothee.) Your social credit rating determines how often you will be allowed to go outside. Undercover privacy inspectors are always on hand to make sure you have no privacy.

Mr. Frothee does not enjoy being clairvoyant. “It kind of gets to you, after a while,” he says. “My only comfort is the fact that I’m certifiably crazy and these visions don’t have any chance of coming true.”