If you find you ever need to flush your brain, sort of like the way you have to flush an outboard motor sometimes, here are five certifiably awful movies that just might do it for you.
1. The Manster (1959) A mad scientist in Japan injects an American journalist with stuff that makes a second head grow out of his shoulder. Unfortunately, it’s a homicidal monster head. And if that pleases you, you may want to sample…
2. The Thing with Two Heads (1972) Nasty, racist scientist Ray Milland is dying, so he needs to transplant his head onto a healthy body. Oops–he winds up on Rosey Grier‘s body, and Rosey’s head is still on it, so… well, you get the general idea.
3. The Hideous Sun Demon (1959) Radiation turns a scientist into a bloodthirsty lizard-monster. How come this sort of thing never happens to a shoe salesman or someone at the post office?
4. The Greatest Speeches of Barack Obama–hold it! That’s not supposed to be in here. Even ridiculous horror movies have some standards.
4. Twitch of the Death Nerve (1972) My friends and I saw this at the local drive-in, and it made no sense at all. A lot of those Italian slasher flicks from the 70s make no sense. The climax is the announcement of the murder of one Filippo Donati, who is not otherwise mentioned.
5. I Eat Your Skin (1964) This mad scientist/zombie movie will hose down whatever neurons are still clogging up your cranium. They save the best line for last: “So ends Dr. So-and-So’s evil plan to conquer the world with an invincible army of zombies.” That’s the first we hear of any plan!
WARNING: Do not give any of these movies as Christmas presents. You can find them all available for viewing on the Internet at no charge.