Troubled by a spate of medical problems among the surviving members of my family, my face doesn’t exactly break into a delighted smile when the phone rings at night. It rang last night, and as I rushed across the room to answer it, I thought, “What now?”
“Hello? Hello?” Was this another one of those wretched calls in which the party at the other end of the line never speaks? But then:
“Hello! This is Maggie from Veeblefetzer Caribbean Cruises! Are you hearing me all right?”
Fooey! I just hung up.
Yeah, yeah–of course I’m going to buy a Caribbean cruise from some joker on the phone. Here, here’s my credit card number. Wait, I’ll give you the numbers of all my cards and let you take your pick. Oh, and here’s my Social Security number, too?
Naw, I ain’t worried about identity theft. In fact, I’m due to get a great big wad of money from some guy in Nigeria who wants me to receive his inheritance for him. He’s gonna deposit it directly in my bank account, so I gave him my account number.
See you in Aruba!