A famous Conservative Commentator–whose name I choose not to mention, because she thinks she’s doing good and I don’t want to hurt her feelings–has her son enrolled in team lacrosse: league, uniforms, coaches, field officials, sponsors, parents cheering on the sidelines, the works.
The kid is five years old.
Somehow I find it impossible to believe a child that young ever said, “Mommy, you know what I’ve always wanted to do? Play lacrosse!” That idea came out of Mommy’s head. Talking about it on the radio, she said the little tyke was feeling pressure on account of other kids roughing him up on the field, so she counseled him to tough it out, and rough them back.
The child is five years old.
Is it really so terrible for a little child’s development to sit on the floor playing with building blocks, while Mommy does the ironing and the two of them talk to each other back and forth? Is it really so old hat to play in the sandbox with another little kid or two?
Five years old, and she’s got him all togged up for lacrosse?
I don’t know about you, but something about this really creeps me out. Maybe it’s just too much regimentation, too much conformity, too much status and role-playing way too soon in life. The child will get more than enough of that later on.
Someday they’ll come up with some kind of uniformed, sponsored sport that neonates can play, some kind of proto-soccer that doesn’t require standing up or walking. Get ’em into competition really early!
And, above all things, get ’em used to being spoon-fed by authority figures.
And then, Ms. Big-Time Conservative Commentator, watch the fun as you try to persuade your children that their teachers and their college professors and their government are not right all the time, and should not always be listened to… Just try.