Pastor Gored by Mad Bull–in Church!

Ancient fresco showing Minoan “bull dancers”–or are these athletes not dancing, but trying to stay alive?

Well, here’s something you don’t see in church every Sunday: the pastor getting gored by an angry bull ( ).

It really happened, recently, at Solid Rock Church in Ohio. Right there in the church sanctuary, Pastor Lawrence Bishop was gored nearly to death by a bull. It was an unscripted part of a special church program called “Stop the Bull,” meant to address the issues of drug abuse and bullying, felt by the pastor to be particularly pressing in the Solid Rock neighborhood.

If the above link works, here is the actual video of this incident, provided by Solid Rock Church.

Gee, this is even edgier than Christian cage fighting!

Other churches around the country are already scrambling to outdo Solid Rock. “If their pastor can just about get himself killed, trying to ride a bull in church, well, we’ve got that beat!” says Pastor Rabadash Jones of Happening Now Church, Florida. “Alligator wrassling! We have set up a pool in the middle of our church and put some mighty big, mean gators in it. But I think my assistant pastor can tame ’em.”

Squawking Idiot Episcopal Church in Lenin Falls, NY, “steers clear of violence,” said Priestess Happy Octopus Starshine, “but we defy any of those cowboy churches in the Midwest to top our brothel! We’re already convinced we’re going to have to enlarge the church doors, once our knocking-shop opens. And by the way, we will cater to all seven genders. It don’t get more seeker-friendly than this!”

But according to Rev. Tom O’Bedlam, of St. Kerchak’s, in Bismuth, Minnesota, “It’s always best to stick to basics; so we’ll just go with plain old human sacrifice. Our marketing research consistently shows that to be a winner.”

7 comments on “Pastor Gored by Mad Bull–in Church!

  1. When did the power of God’s word stop being good enough for the Church? Any church that needs to go to this kind of extreme to draw in and reach followers is in serious spiritual trouble. Just MHO.

  2. I guess since he didn’t ‘Stop the Bull’, he has failed utterly and miserably, and bullying will continue in his neighborhood. Shame on him! He should care more about those children than to let the bull get the better of him, especially when he’s trying to tell them not to let bullies get the better of them. Once he’s recovered, he better get right back into that sanctuary and ride that bull to victory, or else step down as pastor.

  3. Of all the stupid nonsense. I thought I had heard it all. This takes playing rock music to attract the young, to a whole new level of insanity. What people need; both young and old, is the straight word of God which is able, all on its own to change lives. Lord have mercy on the people who are unfortunate enough to be witness of such as this in a “church”.

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