Hurt Feelings? Dial 911!

Quick, call 911! Somebody hurt my feelings!

September’s coming, and America’s colleges and universities are gearing up for another season of unbridled idiocy, paid for by untold millions of tuition dollars.

Santa Clara University, in California, “prohibits behavior motivated by bias”–which could be practically any behavior at all, depending on how you look at it: is Santa Clara U. a school for the dead?–and the university website advises students, “If the bias incident is in progress or just occurred: ALWAYS CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY” ( ).

What do they mean, “a bias incident”?

The university defines it as “a speech, act, or harassing action”–that covers just about everything, except for lying face-down in the middle of the woods, all alone–“that targets, threatens, or attacks an individual or group because of their actual or perceived race, color, national origin, ethnicity, religious affiliation.” Except, of course, if your “target” is a Christian. Or white.

Here’s my question: Who is the wackiest of the bunch?

The university twollops who dream up this garbage in the first place?

The parents who send their kids to these universities, at back-breaking cost?

The students who allow themselves to be governed by standards more suitable to a lunatic asylum run by the inmates?

Or the police and emergency services who are actually daft enough to respond to a 911 call–“Emergency! Emergency! Somebody just did a microaggression on me, and my feelings are hurt and I feel threatened! Hurry, hurry!” “Well, guys, better put that heart-attack call on the back burner and go take care of this microaggression on the campus…”

What? You don’t remember “microaggression”? Like, just because the whole concept is so stupid and asinine and fascist, you can’t remember what it is? Here’s a refresher ( ). All you gotta remember is “microaggression” is anything you say or do or write or raise your eyebrows over, that makes some liberal or other powder-puff feel “threatened” or “demeaned” or just plain cheesed off.

Oh, well… They may not be able to teach your kid physics or accounting or how to write a coherent English sentence; but they sure can teach crapola.

18 comments on “Hurt Feelings? Dial 911!

  1. There’s no explaining idiocy. The only ones who recognize it are those of us who don’t have that particular disease.

  2. I am threatened by microaggressions every time my local TV news station covers national news with their liberal slant. I watch for local news but most of it is national news. Why don’t they hire some journalists so they can fill up a half hour broadcast with local news? Thank God for the dvr so I can watch TV pre-recorded and fast forward the propaganda.

    1. Sure, I get to find out who killed who that day, if the Hogs won the College World Series, and which public servant has pilfered money from the public trust. 🙂

  3. A few days ago, there was a news piece about someone calling the police because the pizza they ordered was taking too long. The upcoming generation apparently has some real winners among their number.

    1. A number of years ago, we were watching an episode of “Cops” which was supposed to be a ‘ride-along’ view of their day.. During the episode, some guy in a truck called 911 to report two women (the implication having been they were street-walkers) for having stolen his marijuana. :\

    2. MENSA is another favorite of mine. It’s turned into a bunch of puffed up egos flaunting their IQs, mostly from a WiFi connection in their mom’s basement. 🙂

    3. And sadly, today that’s what our ‘looniversities’ are turning out.

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