I’ve had three years to continue thinking about this. I went to college and it just about killed my religion. Worse–I didn’t even realize it. It took me 30 years to get back on track.
I don’t believe it’s an exaggeration anymore to say that leftids worship Failure. That’s why everything they say is good is really bad. The devil has taught them, and they have learned.
I wonder how much Satan, Marx, or Mao could charge for a guest lecture.
Complete the sentence and win a tin foil hat: “I believe everybody ought to go to college because __________.”
Meanwhile, at the Looniversity of Portland, if you see any kind of “interaction of intolerance” that makes you feel just a teeny bit uncomfortable, they’re advising you to… call the police!
Kampus Kops battling microaggressions. What a thriller that’d make.
“Ooh-ooh, officer, I just saw somebody tearing up an American flag and it made me feel soooo uncomfortable–!”
No, no. They’ll only act if it was the Rainbow Gay Rights Weird Sex Flag that you saw somebody disrespecting.
Defund the colleges now. All of them.
Here it comes, the next big thing–a revolt against “the mammal label” applied to human beings or any other living thing.
People Against Being Called Mammals (PABCM) staged a violent protest yesterday in the streets of Mamba City, Illinois, home of Whatnot University.
Explained a student community organizer who goes by the name of “Stick Insect,” “‘Mammal’ is only a label, a construct dreamed up by dead white males to keep down people of color and impose heteronormativity upon a whole spectrum of living things that are naturally gay and other-gendered!
“Well, we are not ‘Mammals’ anymore! Each of us has the right to create himself, herself, or xerself in any form he, she, or xe pleases! They can’t hang onto their sexual binary anymore, so now they fall back on their second line of defense–”
“It’s that whole thing of ‘Mammals’ and ‘Birds’ and other stuff, whatever it is they call it–gastronomy or something! It’s all designed to keep us down, to not let us be free!
“But we are not ‘Mammals’ anymore! The university has already agreed to list the word ‘mammal’ as a forbidden microaggression–and we’re only just getting started!”
Police broke up the demonstration by telling the students that there was an “Impeach Trump” rally starting in the nearby town of Scatsburg, which does not exist. Demonstrators spent the rest of the night trying to find it.
Hear at Collidge us Introllecturals we lern “things” we nevver knowed “abote” Before!
Yeasterdday “in” Intorsexonal Gender Studdies the teetcher she toled “us” yiu got to Has a Imadginery Freind who willl alyaws tel yiu “wen” yiu are thinkin or sayin or doing somthing “that” Is Sexist or Hatful or Micro Grecian!!! and the “Best Thing” abuot it is yore Imadginery Freind ze becombs Reel!! Jist by sayin you has one,, yiu reely has it!!!
My Imadginery Freind ze “is A” Trans Ghirl named Scrodd i think “that” Is a reel neiss Name!! and Now she gose whith me warevir i amb and yiu know waht?? I axually seen xer!!!! butt ze dont whant me to tel yiu waht ze looks lyke!! becose xe amnt done Trans Itchining yhet! so al I wil “say Is” that ze is reel Biutafull!! evin more Gorjist than Kate Lynn Jender!!!!!
Jist a minnit Aggo i was jist abote to rite “She” insted of “Ze” and wow did Scrodd let me has it for that!!! That “is” howe I got stoppped fromb making a Sexist Micro Grecian!!! and jist nhow ze is teling me i cant eeat no Wyte Jim Sox no moar i can only eeat Plad Sox becose them wyte Sox thay are Racist!!!
I can allreddy fiel my Intralleck groing by leeps and bownds!!!!
The thing that makes leftids tick is the ungovernable desire to control other people’s lives, down to the most minute and private details of those lives. It’s the only way to explain stuff like this:
Man! All the things the “pro-choice” crowd won’t let you say or do or be, and all the things they insist you must say or do or be!
Word of comfort: Kill public education and the teachers’ unions, and Far Left Crazy dies.
Words of discomfort: We may have already left it for too long.
I don’t know whether to laugh at this, or cry.
Our Temple of Higher Education at UCLA is hiring grad students as “Diversity Peer Leaders” to fight “toxic masculinity”–do they really expect to find any kind of masculinity here?–and “microaggressions” (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11233). The money comes from mandatory student fees, and they’ve hired 20 of these specimens so far.
So what does a Diversity Peer Leader actually do for 13 bucks an hour?
Well, you’d better watch what you say on campus anywhere, because these clowns have the power to rat you out as a “bigot” and ruin your college career. If you or your parents had any sense, of course, you wouldn’t be shelling out big bucks to go to a fanabla factory like UCLA in the first place.
Complete the sentence and win a tin-foil hat: “I send my son/daughter to the looniversity because _______.”
Are people in America just not that interested in freedom and dignity anymore?
One of the things “we” lernt in Collidge is thare is two “menny” books Whith wite Peple in them It is reely discussting!! Espatially Histry Books! Wel our Collidge we Are doing sumthing abote That!!!
Frist al them boocks whith wite peple in themb thay Has “got to” be writ al over Agin butt this tyme With-out wite peple in them!! butt evin that “it” dont go “farr” enuohgh so we aslo thunk of sumthing Elce!!!
Our Collidge Sceints Depotment it has got Sceintits in it and Thay is “workin” on a Meddasin it whil “make yiu” Fourget evry thing yiu has red “that” got wite peple in it!!!! How abote That!? And nhow thay “want To” testt The Meddasin and yiu know what,, I has vollinteared!!
So i willl take “the” Meddasin to-nihght and Iff it works,, then to-marrow I whont be “Abel” to remebmer nothing that “has” got wite peple in it!!!This it whil make “me” feel cleen and libbarated and Inter-sexianol!!!
Some dop he Is a christin or somthing he sayed “butt waht abote Side Affects??” He is so stopid, i tolled him thare “Is nothin rwong whith” my sides and i tolled our Micro Grecian Rabid Responts Team waht he sayed “And” thay are Going “to” putt him Into Sensartivity Traning un-till his mind it “is”rihght!!!
I cant Hardlie whait four to-nihght!! It has got “my” Moth Antenners spining aruond like crazy!!
We hadded a meting of The Stodent Soviet “last nihght” and al yiu ordrinary dum fokes who “thinks” it is eazy being “a’ Introlllectural yiu dont know waht yiu “Are” talkin abote!! Yiu think its eazy thinking Up “al new” whays of makin Socile Jutstus? Yiu are jist al Stopid!!!
Butt we comed Up whith a Doozy lats nihght! This it wil reely Fix them Sex-ists! Evin ordrinary dum peeple thay auhght to be “abel to” under stand this!! And hear it is!
Iff yiu like wimmin, yiu are a Sex-ist!
Iff yiu dont like wimmin, yiu “are” A Sex-ist!
and Aslo iff yiu do not cair one Whay or another then yiu are aslo Sex-ists!!!
Lets sea yiu dum peeple get out “of” That!!!!!
Man our heds hurted becose it Was “so harrd” to Come Up whith this! Troo Introlllectural Thinking,, “it Is” harrd wirk!!That is “whye” yiu has to has a Collidge Eddication! Jist plane peeple thay “are Nott” smart Enuhgh to Think “of” stuph like this!! It maid me Dizzzy and i had “to eat” a hole paire of Jim Sox befour i fellt Normel again!! and aslo my Moth Antenners thay hert tooo!
We are goingto putt this “in” the Teechers Hand Book so thay can has a Inclusivv Clast Roomb and aslo so thay “Can” stop Micro Grecians befour thay start!!!
Thare woont be anny Moar bad thinking whenn We “get” throohgh!
Before you know it, collidge will be back in session, with millions of people flocking to the halls of higher education. And the Educators want to be sure the students are prepared to deal with the potholes on the road of life. Like, if somebody says something that upsets you…
I put it to you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that the looniversity has had its time on center stage and done absolutely nothing to deserve it.
Hear At our Collidge we are prowed of hasing the Best Divercity Traning pogrom ever!!! Thay has one aslo at Minnisoda State butt thay must got a Lot “of” whimps up thare becose “so Manny” of them thay “got to has” counciling becose thay Get all trigered and then thay “jist” cant take it! (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11047)
at Minnasoda thay Are trying “to” get purfict Socile Jutstus wel yiu Cant make “a” Omblit whith-out braking Eggs!! Yiu has got “to be” Toughh iff yiu Whant to get ridd of al Micro Grecian!! So hear At our collidge yiu dont get No tedy bares and Play-Doh untill yiu “has” finnished al “the” Whorkshoppes!!! Aslo the collidge thay had to higher a lott of new Divercity Axperts and Spatialists so Natcherly the Tution it had to go Up!! Some Racist he camplaned abote it So ate of us We “beet” “him” Up!!!
I wuld tel yiu “al” the Things we suposed to Learn only somb of them thay are Reely “hard to” Spel and yiu wuldnt under stand tham “anyhow” un-lest yiu hapen “to” “be” a Interllectural like me!! Ordrinay dum peple yiu jist “Cant” teech them Intosexional Communile Sistamic Oprestion and Other “technicle” Stuff like that! Wel our Collidge requirres evry Stodent “to” take al “The” werkshoppes and thay has got to keep takin them agin and agan un-till thare Minds thay “are” rihght!!! Somtimes yiu got to tye them Up so thay Cant “run away”!! Thare was one Biggit he “kept” doing Micro Grecians untill thay locked himb in the Swet Box for three hole dayz!!! After that,, he “had” reel goood Divercity!