Tag Archives: microaggression

We Has got To Bann the Bibel!!

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Wuld yiu beleave it?? i acturelly Fourgot I was ellected to the Stodent Soviet “And” I misssed a buntch of Meetings!! so i maid Sure “I” shoed up Last Nihght “and it”” was a good Thing I “did” becose wee has voted To bann the Bibel fromb our campas!!!

Whe desided to “do” it becose the Collidge LGBTQIAMW Inclution Concil thay Asked “us” to done it becose thare “is” Alll that hat speach in the Bibel and lots of christin Prifflidge tooo! so nowe yiu cant Has no Bibel hear at Collidge and yiu “beter” Not becose iff we ketch yiu whith One we will Take It “away” and aslo put yiu in Sensertiffity Traning like fourevver!!!!

and than some Ijjit he sayed Wel waht abote “our Freedem to reed any Thing we wannt?? so” six of us wee jist Beet him “up” he is only A Racist annyweiy!! Freedem meens yiu shuld auhght to reed jist the Book’s “on The” List!!! The Books that thay Are “not” on the List yiu cannt reed becose thay got hat speeach in them!! And aslo tooo meny Big Wirds witch them wirds thay are Micro Agrecian!! and aslo Triger Wirds!

Wel i amb prowed of “waht” wee done Lasst Nihght and neckts time may be we Wil bann Moar Racist Book’s!!


U. of Cal: Saying You’re Not a Racist Means You’re a Racist

(Thanks to Linda for the news tip)

I keep forgetting, so tell me again: you send your sons and daughters to these looniversities because__________ (fill in the blank).

According to a “Guide” published by the University of California, saying you’re not a racist is a sure sign that you are a racist (http://www.shtfplan.com/headline-news/university-of-california-guide-saying-im-not-racist-is-racist_03142018).

It’s one of those “microaggressions,” you see, that instantly tips people off that you’re a no-good Racist even if it’s “unintentional” on your part. Whatever you say, whatever you do, proves that you’re a Racist. So is whatever you don’t say, whatever you don’t do.

It’s also a microaggression, according to this great institution of higher education, if you’re “using the term ‘politically correct’ as a pejorative…” Oh, how base! Oh, how despicable! Actually to use the term “politically correct” as a pejorative–it makes you want to sit down and cry!

The only rational response to this bilge–other than saving your money and just not going to these stupid colleges at all–is not to care. Just don’t care. Feel free to answer with a lustily-blown raspberry.

 


Collidge ‘it’ Is Hard Sumbtimes!

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Sumbtimes Gender Studdies “it” is So hard butt our Prefesser xe knows “that” and xe Dont whant us “to” get al Stresszed Out so tooday xe taked Awaiy our Tecksbook becose it “Is” hard four us to reed thare Are a lott “of” big Words in “it” and makes Us feeel so Bad and so insted fromb now On wee wil Studdy car toons and graffic novles!! And aslo we wil get More Play Doh!

xe aslo gaved us This hear graffic Novle it “is” caled Oy Rodney and ze sayed we shuld Oauhght to studdy it to fined al “The” micro Gresions and biggity thats In it!! Xhe aslo ze sayed we Got to whach Out four al “the” Wite Privvlidge that in it and then We whill has a Test witch it shuld Not be “two hard” becose Al we “has to” Do is go out And key cars!!!

This hear Oy Rodney it “is” jist tarrible!!!!  That is becose “it” shoes jist wat Wimmins thay is Up “aginst” and aslo thare “Is” a lot of Sexule Horassmint in it tooo;, It makes “me” so Mad i has to Stopp and play whith Play Doh til my Moth Antenners thay stopp twitchin And wuld yiu beleave it I got in trubble for That!!! The prefesser xe sayed “Cant yiu” stop “that?? it is distracking al The “othher” stodents”! Wel i cant Help it its becose Of “al” them Moth Hormoans thay shot me Up whith to try to get my cromo-Soames to turn intto Wimmin cromo-Soames and i cant Help It if “the” exspearmint it dint work!!! So xe mayed me ware this hear Pointy Hat so no one thay “wuld see” my Antenners!

O wel! in jist Fyve moar yeers I “wil” Get my Batchler’s Deegree in Gender Studdies and “Than” i can start on My Masters! and Eaventurly i wil Be a reel Intrallectural!!!


No more Canfedrate Names Alloued!!

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We lets see “that” stopid gye Lee “get” Out of this one!!

See, now he gots “to” change his Name becose It is one of them Canfedrate Notzi names and “iff” he Keeps On using it than he willl be gilty of hat speach!! Like it”s the Same thing “as” being named Hittler whitch is aslo a Canfedrate Notzi name! and it wil affend evry one Whoo sees it Or heres it! and he “has got” To erace it from al his stopid boooks too!!

Jist let himb “trye” to fined a New Name for his self that Isnt some kined of Micro Grecian! If he cal his self Tom welll thats a Notzi name tooo! And he cant Take no Minorty Name neether and cal his self Peeair or Toshiro or Mbemby becose than it Wuld be Cultchurel Apropiation whitch its not alloued!!! so now he “cannt” wright nothing Or say nothing he jist “have to” Shutt Up!!!! Becose whattever he sayes it makes him “a” Whight Stuprimassist and Auntifa wil come and get him! Ha ha ha!!!

Meenwile at the Collidge we getting Rid “of” all Whight Notzi names of Streets and billdings and boooks untill thare isnt None of them lefft! We thunk this Up becose we are Intrallecturals and al yiu Ordrinary dum peple yiu has got to Obay us it “is” fore yuor own Goood!!!!


Now we Has yogur Class!

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Hear at Our Collidge thay has started Yogur class for alumini and Interllecturals and i think Yogur “it is”” somthing that yiu “eat” butt i supose “it” is aslo al Theese hear Yogur Extrasizes and I gess yiu eat “The” Yogur afftar yiu “do the” Extrasize.!

So i runned over to the Stodent Centaur to get in “the class” and thay Toled me i culdnt Unlest i has Yogur Pants and i dint Know “waht” to “do” becose I dont know waht Yogur Pants thay look like!! and al i culd Think “of” saying was yiu Doing “the Micro Gresion on me!”” so thay let me in the Class whith-out Yogur Pants!

Now i amb al Soar from doing The Yogur and one “of “” my Moth Antenners it got bent and it sure herts!!! But that “it is” a Smalll price to Pay “becose” Yogur it keep yiu From turning “in-to” a christin, the Instrocter she sayed Yogur “it teeches” yiu That Yiu Are God!! How Abot That!!! it is jist “Waht” my prefesser he been sayin Al Allong, first yiu takes Gender Studies corses like me and than Yiu assines youself Whatevver gender yiu whant and yiu Can evvin make Up one iff yiu “dont” like any of the Genders that got listed “in” the Stodent Gyde and That “is How” we Creeights our selfs! and than i eated Some Yogur butt in Al Onesty i like jim sox bettter!!


An Invitation to Yoga

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My old alma mater, Rutgers University, has invited me to an alumni yoga class. They recommend I bring yoga pants, but I don’t think I have any.

Let’s see… how has Rutgers featured in the news lately? Some of you will remember these items from when I posted them on this blog.

There was the professor who had to be carted off by the cops when he raved, in front of his class, about his desire to kill white people. He’s white, by the way.

We had Rutgers students demanding that “trigger warnings” be pasted onto just about every book you can find. They were afraid The Great Gatsby might give them the horrors.

There was the Rutgers Student Guide that warned incoming freshmen that there’s no freedom of speech at Rutgers, so they’d just all better zip their lips. You never know when some innocent thing you say will turn out to be a microaggression.

And, if memory serves, Rutgers is one of those great universities pioneering in Beyonce Studies, for those whose tuition money really does just grow on trees.

You can probably guess what I say whenever they call me up to ask for a donation.

And I think I’ll pass on the alumni yoga class. I just don’t have the pants for it.


Brilliant Scheme to Enforce ‘Inclusion’–Exclude Everybody!

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True diversity at last!

Pity the man who tries to satirize “higher education”! It does such a remarkable job of satirizing itself.

For years, the Ontario Human Rights Commission (the orcs from OHRC) have been troubled by what they see as a lack of Diversity in many individuals’ personal circles of friends, and have pondered what to do about it.

Well, ponder no more–Harvard has the answer!

Starting next year, and to be finished by 2022, Harvard will carry out a new university policy of banning student membership in all clubs, fraternities, and societies–even ones off-campus that have nothing to do with their stupid university–and expelling anyone who joins one (http://nypost.com/2017/07/13/harvards-plan-to-make-sure-undergrads-never-grow-up/).

This is because of “behavior inconsistent with an inclusive campus,” which they will make more inclusive by excluding all the voluntary associations, and “a disregard for personhood,” whatever the deuce that is, says a Harvard bigwig with more words than sense.

In one breath-taking stroke, Harvard has solved the problem of lack of inclusion among friends:

Simply don’t allow anyone to have any friends.

Not enough Diversity? Get more of it by forbidding anyone to join any group that would distinguish him from someone else who isn’t in the group. You can only join a group which literally everyone else has joined. No joining the Harvard Stratego Club unless every student joins at precisely the same instant in time.

And maybe they ought to ban personal names while they’re at it, because having your own name is un-inclusive, man! It might even be a microaggression.

Yoo-hoo! Harvard alumni! Did you really donate money to this shambles? Why do you sit there like a bunch of mummies? You’re almost as useless and ineffectual as the board of trustees.

Stop giving them money. Stop it right now.


Oh, Boy! Earn a Degree in Social Justice!

Eastern Kentucky University has placed itself on the cutting edge of academic piffle by offering a degree in Social Justice ( http://campusreform.org/?ID=5942 ).

So in case you just can’t handle the rigors of a degree program in Superhero Studies, Gender Studies, or Video Gaming, you can sign up for this one, which is intended to equip students for brilliant careers as activists or community organizers. America needs a lot more community organizers.

The university will disavow this, but our top-secret confidential sources have leaked some of the proposed syllabus.

Courses will be offered in Whining, Advanced Bellyaching, Creative Vandalism, Trolling Conservative Websites, Saying Snarky Things About Religion, How to Find Microaggression Everywhere You Look,  and Inventing New Things to Complain About.

Keep those tuition dollars comin’, folks!


Jim Crow Is Back!

So what was that Civil Rights movement all about, anyway?

Guess what Cal State Los Angeles has. Well, you’ll never guess, so I’ll tell you: racially segregated student housing! ( http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/28906/ )

Yep, blacks over here, whites over there. Just like the bad old days. And you’ll never guess why the collidge did it, either.

Student demands!

Yep–the Black Students Union–do they have a White Students Union, or would that be racist?–demanded separate housing as the ultimate “safe space” for black students. And why do they need a safe space? Because of all those confounded “microaggressions” out there, of course!

No one says anything about the now-popular game of “knockout,” in which gangs of “black youths” attack and seriously injure defenseless, often elderly, white persons whom they catch alone on the sidewalk.

Cal State LA is the fourth institution of higher learning to provide racially segregated housing for its students, joining UConn, UC Davis, and Berkeley in that elite category.

Yes, Martin Luther King, you are entitled to roll over in your grave.

America’s colleges–where minds, morals, and basic decency go to die.


Down Whith Micro Gresion!

So i “was” jist walkin ruond the Campuss this moaning “and” Theese twoo other stodents they waked passt me and One she sayes to “the” other Hey lookit “the freek whith” the Moth Antenners meening Me! It was A grate Big Micro Gresion!!!

Wel naturely i busted “out” cryin i meen its Hard enuohgh havin Moth Antenners growin oute “of” my Four Head whithote some Biggit sayin im A freek and than wehn I “was” finnished cryin i runned offf to our Diversity Leadership Teem and i tole them al abuot It!! and Thay sayed dont Worry “whee wil” put them twoo Bums in Diversity Traning untill thay minds is rihgjt!

And than i “had” to Go “to” the Infirmbery becose my prefesser “he” sayed micro Gresion its Bad for yore immuned Sistym and it Can make yiu “sick” iff you here or see or rede Any thing “that” yiu dont lyke and So thay gived me Som Aunti Botics and thay aslo rubed som otther Kind of meddycine i fourget how to spel It, on my Moth Antenners and the One nourse she “was so” Nice she gived mee a Hankerchiff to eet for Lunch!

Hear at Collidge whe goin to Start “a” new Program it caled “langwidge Matters” and thenn No boddy thay wont be aloud to Say nothin at all unles it is Nice and Afirmming exept for Us Interllecturals wee can stil Talk “becose” evry thing Wee say its so Smart!!!

but evry Boddy else thay Has “got” to Shutt Up!!!


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