Joe Collidge’s Chrismis

Ha ha, he went out so now i got his blogg.

I woked up this morning with kinda scare, i was al rapped up in somethin like a net and i culdnt get loose. Yiu kno i ben sleepin in my prefesser’s toolshed, he let me stay thar, Wel it turnt out i must of wofe a kocoon in my slepe! Thay kepe shootin me up with moth Hormoanes, that’s the exspearmint thayre doing and i dont see how thats sposed to give me wimmins Cromosoames but at leest i get to stay here in collidge for freee as long as i let them do exspearminuts on me.

I went home for Chrismis but they are all stopid peple and thay wuldnt let me in, “Open up i sayed you got to let me in for Chrismis but” my dad he sayed i coldnt come in if i was gonna say thare istnt no God. Wel I have got to say that! dont i? becose i is a interllectural, i not some christin dop that beleaves in God or angells or any of that bible stuf. so i sayed to my Dad “yiu oghujt to let me in so’s i can enlihgjtin yuo, why yiu want to be ingnorent”? and then he tol me to get lost. And they was havin Turky or somthin, i was so hunggery i cold ete a hoarse. Fortunutly they was a Snowman in the yard nex door and he had on a red whool hat so i ate that. It was Okay but it wastnt Turky was it!

Then thar was som peple who come singin Chrismis Caroles so i explaned to them that was stopid thing to do becuse thar istnt no God and Jesus was only just a nice guy and probly wastnt a reel person anyhow but they was too dum to lissten to a interllectural.

My prefesser he is so smart! Wen i com back and tole him al abuot it do yiu kno what he sayed! He sayed Its “onely natrul that ordrinary dum peple hates us interllecturals and thay dont want to do like we say but” somday wen Hillery is Presdint thay gonna al have to do what we say weather they lik it or not!! becose she going to mak them.

And now i got to go fined a hat or somthin, too bad i ate that Snowmans hat, becose its nite time and it gettin cold and my moth antenners on my head they freezin somthing awffle! and i hope i can weaf me another kocoon becose my prefesser he never gave me no blancket.

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

4 responses to “Joe Collidge’s Chrismis

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