New Career Path! Get Paid for Not Committing Crimes


When I was a boy, I knew a kid whose grandfather paid him a dollar a day not to have a tantrum. Amazingly enough, there were days he didn’t bother to earn his dollar.

Look, folks, here, I’ve found it–the liberal/progressive Holy Grail.

Pay people for not committing crimes ( ).

Our energetic brains in Washington, D.C., are proposing to do just that. You take a year of “therapy,” whatever that might be, and if, at the end of the year, you haven’t committed a crime–payday!

The city council have not disclosed how much they mean to pay these persons for not committing crimes. But a similar program in Richmond, California, pays $9,000 a year.

Is that taxable? And what do you answer when someone asks, “Occupation?”

This could be big, though–really big! Combine it with universal free college tuition and universal free healthcare–remember, they only have to tax “the rich” to pay for it all, and “the rich” will just stand there and get raped, they won’t flee the country–and you’ve got Utopia.

The things you can think of, riding in a limo or a private jet!

P.S.–I forgot to mention that it ain’t just anybody who would qualify for these payments. You and me, for instance: we wouldn’t qualify. The recepients have to be “at risk” of committing a crime, so the money would go to well-known low-lifes, ne’er-do-wells, and assorted offenders with police records. You and I would only qualify to do the paying, with our tax dollars.

6 comments on “New Career Path! Get Paid for Not Committing Crimes

  1. Hmmm – could this be why when the unemployment numbers are reported, they are unrealistically low?

  2. By the way, Lee, how are you feeling today? Hopefully the pain is easing up and you’re able to rest well enough.

  3. This reminds me of a book I read the other day. Title, “The Death of the Grownup” Ever notice how utterly silly the so-called news programs are these days; with the group of chattering chipmunks, every mouth running at the same time? Makes you want to slap them silly.

  4. If we as a nation begin paying people NOT to commit a crime, we will be paying and paying higher and higher amounts because their level of satisfaction wil rise higher and higher. Bribing a kid to behave properly can and will get expensive after a while and it doesn’t take care of the wrong behaviour. A child needs to know that serious consequences (a fanny-whopping comes to mind) come on the heels of bad behaviour. Our justice system needs to tighten up on crimes committed and to stick to the set penalties. Let criminals pay for crimes committed. Allow and encourage more churches and ministers to get involved with true life-changing ministry within the prisons. Let’s not bribe the “bad guys” to stay on the good side. I don’t want to be paying for that.

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