How to (Not) Succeed in Business Without Trying at All

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Let it never again be said that college is good for anything!

Starting next semester, a Business prof at the University of Georgia, teaching Data Managing and “Energy Informatics” (I don’t know what that is), as part of a new “stress reduction policy,” will be letting his students choose whatever grade they would like to receive ( As in “A is for Ass…”

This is necessary, he explains, because “Emotional reactions to stressful situations can have profound consequences for all involved.” Like if a student shoots up the classroom because he only got a B. And if being allowed to name your grade weren’t enough, all tests and exams will be open-book–that means you get to copy the answers out of the textbook–with the students’ lap-tops also allowed.

Of course, as long as you can just choose your grade, why even bother to show up for the class at all?

But wait, there’s more!

If after all this, a student still feels all stressed out–I’m sure I don’t know why–he or she or zhxe can retreat to an official Stress-Free Zone provided by the university, there to enjoy cocoa, granola, and games.

Don’t you wish this was a satire?

So that’s what the folks who send their kids to U of Georgia for a business degree are getting for their thousands and thousands of dollars of tuition.

If our colleges and universities are not purposely trying to transform a whole generation of students into total wastes of space, they’re doing a spectacularly good impression of it.

13 comments on “How to (Not) Succeed in Business Without Trying at All

  1. Degrees are becoming do watered down that they mean almost nothing these days. When you can name your grade and the tests are open-book, it pretty much stands to reason that the graduate has little to offer an employer.

  2. More of the ‘trophies for everyone’ mentality. We’re sunk. Wait until these idiots see what Divine Judgment looks like.

  3. The universities are doing what some of today’s churches are doing…making it ultra comfy and telling people what they want to hear and condoning all sorts of behavior- just to keep a crowd and unfortunately the financial gains that go along with the crowd. Sad really.

    1. That’s the problem. It’s a business, plain and simple, and they have a motive to profit from their clients. There’s nothing wrong about this, but the students and parents need to realize that even state funded colleges are in the business of harvesting money.

    2. I agree completely. They’ve diluted the value to such an extent that it’s meaningless. There are a lot of people out there with degrees and no skill.

      There’s one other side to this that I find quite interesting. There is a dearth of skilled workers whom can pass drug screenings and background checks. It’s getting to be a real problem.

      Our Father told us that the foolish things of this world would be used to put the wise of this world to shame. Christians have been increasingly ridiculed, but we are proving the worth of our moral standards. A Christian, truly living by biblical standards, is not going to have a problem passing a drug screening. They are far less likely to suffer from STDs and bible principals, when applied, make for more stability in the family. These are the sort of people who are valuable to employers.

  4. Since so many employers still demand a college diploma as evidence of … something or other, I was going to suggest issuing high school students a mail-in form so they can send in their multi-K dollars and get the diploma in return without going through the bother of sitting in classrooms for 4-6 years. But then I realized that this would deprive all the “professors” (of what, only Heaven – or maybe Hell – knows) and administrators of their excuses for collecting salaries.

    I retired in the nick of time. And funny … although I was known as the hardest grader in my department, I also had an office full of teaching awards, not to mention course evaluations and letters from students thanking me for being so tough on them. I know that sounds like a brag (okay, so I’ll go to Confession next Sunday), but it’s really a lament for what education — especially “higher” education — used to be about.

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