Centaurs are not to be confused with senators. If you have trouble telling them apart, just remember that a centaur has a functioning, sort-of human brain, and a U.S. Senator doesn’t.
In ancient times, centaurs lived in environmentally responsible groups, far from human towns and villages. They have become rare because most people refuse to believe in them, and that makes them down-hearted.
Nowadays it is almost unheard-of for a centaur to escape from the A.S.S. Centaur House. Confidential sources report that the government is currently trying to breed centaurs with pug dogs in order to spend more money on inane and pointless projects.
If you do see a centaur, the safest response is to offer it a bottle of Jack Daniels and hope it goes away. Do not attempt to contact the authorities. They won’t take ki
November 4, 2017