Yo, leftids! I can’t hear you screaming. What happened? You promised you were gonna get together today, thousands of you, and “scream helplessly at the sky” to protest the American people’s election of Donald Trump, a year ago, to be their president. And so another liberal wing-ding fails to come off.
What’s that you say? You don’t have to scream–because Democrats won yesterday in Virginia, New Jersey, and New York City. Yes, they held on to these leftid hell holes; and that proves the American people have seen the error of their ways and now, yes, now, they are solidly behind your program of open borders and sanctuary cities, jail for Climbit Change deniers, Obamacare forever, “hate speech” laws out the wazoo, abortion, transgender, confiscation of firearms, citizen of the world, astronomically high taxes, and finish the job of Fundamental Transformation of America!
Yes, it all worked! The Antifa riots. The other riots. The football protests. All that Russia crap. Trashing historical monuments. Yup, you found the key to America’s heart, and 2018 should be a real walkover for Democrats. You’ll take over and put the country back on track to become the Venezuela of the North.
And here I was, thinking it just goes to show that wet, soggy, waterlogged, bow tie and country club, dull as dishwater “moderate Republicans” from the GOP Establishment just can’t beat anybody. And all just because they don’t appeal to anybody.
But obviously I was wrong. Democrats won yesterday, and here they come!