The Crime of… Plastic Straws!

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It was going to be a liberal’s dream come true–prison time for anyone caught handing out a plastic straw: and all based on “research” by a 9-year-old kid! (

The city of Santa Barbara, CA, proposed a $1,000 fine and/or a year in prison–per straw!

It was based on the claim that Americans use 500 million plastic straws per day and are choking the environment with them–a claim endlessly and unquestioningly repeated by all the major nooze media… and based on phone calls made by a child to straw manufacturers, as part of a school science project.

Well, really! This is even better than David Hogg, the teenager who would be king. This little boy is only nine years old! What could be more delicious, to a liberal, than to sling someone into prison for a year on the say-so of a 9-year-old?

Okay, we know–to throw you into jail on no say-so, no reason, at all. But they gotta get here before they get there, ya know?

Now that the truth is coming out, California “authorities” are backing off their plan to commit straw-users to jail. For the time being they’ll have to be content with jailing persons who use the wrong pronoun, in violation of the all-powerful transgendered person’s wishes, Ze Who Must Be Obeyed.

Do you ever think the ultimate liberal goal is for all the criminals to be out of prison, and all the normal people in?

4 comments on “The Crime of… Plastic Straws!

  1. As if California doesn’t have more pressing problems… I’m old enough to remember when they wanted us to switch from paper to plastic in the 80s to “save the trees”, and now plastic is the enemy. I grantee doing away with straws will do nothing expect make them feel better about themselves. And why should they stop at straws? They will get rid of everything that is plastic, and then everything that is not biodegradable. I’m convinced they will not be satisfied until we are living in caves and eating bugs.

  2. Liberalism: One the one hand we shouldn’t separate families…on the other hand let’s separate families by jailing the parents over straws.

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