Protesters Enraged by ‘Mammal Label’

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Here it comes, the next big thing–a revolt against “the mammal label” applied to human beings or any other living thing.

People Against Being Called Mammals (PABCM) staged a violent protest yesterday in the streets of Mamba City, Illinois, home of Whatnot University.

Explained a student community organizer who goes by the name of “Stick Insect,” “‘Mammal’ is only a label, a construct dreamed up by dead white males to keep down people of color and impose heteronormativity upon a whole spectrum of living things that are naturally gay and other-gendered!

“Well, we are not ‘Mammals’ anymore! Each of us has the right to create himself, herself, or xerself in any form he, she, or xe pleases! They can’t hang onto their sexual binary anymore, so now they fall back on their second line of defense–”

Which is?

“It’s that whole thing of ‘Mammals’ and ‘Birds’ and other stuff, whatever it is they call it–gastronomy or something! It’s all designed to keep us down, to not let us be free!

“But we are not ‘Mammals’ anymore! The university has already agreed to list the word ‘mammal’ as a forbidden microaggression–and we’re only just getting started!”

Police broke up the demonstration by telling the students that there was an “Impeach Trump” rally starting in the nearby town of Scatsburg, which does not exist. Demonstrators spent the rest of the night trying to find it.


2 comments on “Protesters Enraged by ‘Mammal Label’

  1. So this Mamba City … did the snakes that gave the city its name begin the anti-mammal-label movement? (And I just had a vision of snakes in motion, slithering in perfect rhythm down Main Street.)

    I also just remembered that classic country-western song, “Oh, the Snakes Crawl at Night.” Maybe they came from Mamba City.

    Great satire, Lee. Until the second sentence, I almost took it as news rather than nooze.

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