Next! Dolly Parton

A woman holds a magazine with an image of Dolly Parton on the cover.

Country music legend Dolly Parton is the latest boogieman to be denounced by our Free & Independent Nooze Media Inc.

Her crime? Doing a Stupor Bowl ad for Squarespace, “an inexpensive website-creating framework” for small and start-up businesses (

And somehow small business is… bad.

NBC Nooze objected strenuously to the singer’s praise of “working, working, working” to start a business and make it grow. Yeesh! Doesn’t she know that working for yourself is… selfish? Shouldn’t there only be big businesses, with all the grubby little peasants dependent on big unions and big government? And “working” is so hard! Much harder than sitting around playing video games while waiting for your welfare check. Or maybe some union will be kind enough to give you a job, if you can prove yourself a reliable Democrat voter.

So here’s yet another opinion that you’re not allowed to have. Those 80 million invisible and elusive nebbishes who supposedly voted for Biden have a lot to answer for. If you can find them.

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