‘A Victim of… Musical Chairs’ (2018)

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I wonder how this lawsuit turned out. If I were the judge, I would have jailed the plaintiffs and their lawyer for wasting the court’s time.

A Victim of… Musical Chairs

You’d swear people are forgetting how to be human. I hated school, but I did enjoy the games–musical chairs, huckle-buckle beanstalk (what fun that was!), duck-duck-goose… Little did I know, or even suspect, or imagine, that “forcing” kids to play with other children “of disparate build” and abilities exposes everyone but the school janitor to unbearable mental anguish and emotional trauma blah-blah-blah.

They’re trying to turn us into Eloi. So they can be Morlocks and eat us.

8 comments on “‘A Victim of… Musical Chairs’ (2018)

  1. Some of us discovered early that if you didn’t like playing musical chairs, all you had to do was let yourself be bumped out of play on the first round. 🙂 I have to admit this was one of my least favorite games, so I took advantage of the get-bumped-out-early ploy.

    Did anyone here ever play Red-Light-Green-Light? How about Johnny May I Cross Your River? Yes, kids used to PLAY in those days. With lots of other kids. And make lots of noise in the process.

    1. My mother taught us and our friends how to play Red-Light-Green-Light–and also another game whose name I forget, but maybe you or some other reader will remember: “You make take two baby steps/one giant step/two scissors steps” etc. To say nothing hide-and-seek.

  2. Actually, since I am older than everyone else, I can’t say I remember any of these games. We just brought jacks with us (for the girls) and the boys brought their own stuff, like soft balls, etc. and we just played, but this stuff is unbelievable.

    1. Well, the two games I mentioned were played without any equipment at all. It was mostly people being challenged to escape being tagged under various conditions. Both required a lot of space.

      In Red Light (etc.), “It” stood against a wall with her back to everyone else and recited “Red light, green light, one two three” as fast as possible. While she was reciting, everyone else raced forward toward her but had to stop as soon as she was through and spun around. Anyone caught still moving was out. The trick (if you were “it”) was to vary the pace of the phrasing to fool people about when you were going to finish. Anyway, eventually the person who could tag “It” before she finished reciting won the game and got to be the next “It.” (Hmm … as I wrote that I started thinking that it sounded a lot like political campaigns.)

      In Johnny May I Cross Your River, everyone lined up on one side of the playing area and intoned that question to “Johnny,” the “It” figure. Johnny responded, “Not unless you have the color X,” naming a particular color. All the players who had the color somewhere on their person pointed to the color and were allowed to cross to the other side. Once they’d all passed “Johnny,” all the others made a dash for the other side as well, while “Johnny” attempted to tag as many as possible. This usually meant only one, since the players spread out as much as they could. Finally, with only one person left, the outcome was inevitable, but sometimes the last holdout would lead Johnny in a prolonged chase before letting herself be tagged. And sometimes Johnny would have to come up with bizarre colors in order to have anyone left to tag. Rules had to be adjusted along the way at times, as when someone claimed to have chartreuse or vermillion in a pattern on her underwear, and a debate raged between honor system and requiring the color to be visible externally.

      What it all boiled down to, as with most of the games of our childhood, was a lot of running around and making noise. Do kids know how to do that any more? I mean aside from gangs and riots?

    2. Ooh-ooh, I’ve got another one–“Statues”. Everybody had to freeze whenever It turned around. Another one my mother taught us. She was absolutely great for that.

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