Solid Gold Fauci!

Bust Golden Alfred E. Neuman Plastic • Germany |

Supposedly it was nothing but a recycled 2020 satire in the New York Times–a solid gold statue of Dr. Whatsit Fauci, presented for outstanding achievement in public health. They re-ran it just before the Oscars; and when some people took it seriously, they had to explain it was a satire.

Aha! They only want you to think it was a satire! In reality–or at least what our crack research staff found by peering into the cracks–there really is a Dr. Fauci golden statue, liberals worship it, and by Jove, there it is! Right up there. We’ve even got a picture of it.

Yes, of course you think it’s disguised as a statue of Alfred E. Neuman: that’s what they want you to think! And please stop it with those nasty cracks about putting the real Alfred E. Neuman in charge of virtually everything–he couldn’t (and wouldn’t!) do anything Doc Fauci hasn’t done.

You can always tell the Fauci cultists because they do this thing with their pinky finger that makes it stick out straight all the time, and they want to drink your blood. Most of them have Chinese money in their wallets, plus Get Out of Jail Free cards issued by President-for-Life Obama.

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