Are We Really This Desperate?

Snake Oil Salesman High Res Stock Images | Shutterstock

I’m trying to decide which of today’s misbegotten nooze items, if any, I should report to you here; and my wife is reading aloud from our junk mail folder.

Great merciful heavens.

“Woman poops out 39 pounds of fat! Doctor is speechless…” I suppose he would be.

Several dozen blandishments for this or that potion, pill, or pablum guaranteed to give you “rock-hard,” “granite,” long-lasting, industrial strength–well, you know the rest. Honestly, I never would have thought there was such a desperate need for all this pendejo medicine.

“Try this simple trick for wealth and fame!” If we all tried it, would we all be rich and famous?

Can you imagine an explorer from a hypothetical country that has never had any contact with America coming here and seeing this? What kind of report would he send back to his sponsors?

The America inhabiting our junk mail deserves Joe Biden.

8 comments on “Are We Really This Desperate?

  1. The garbage which is advertised these days insults the intelligence of anyone that possesses intelligence, but the ads keep coming, so someone must be falling for the pitch.

    Rich and famous; why are these all but synonymous? I wouldn’t mind having a few extra bucks, but I have ZERO interest in fame. I have experienced being recognized by strangers at industry events and I can tell you that my skin crawled when it happened. That’s a far cry from fame, but I can state with absolute confidence that I wouldn’t want to be famous. Imagine not being able to walk into a convenience store without being pestered by people that think they know you. Imagine having your photo taken by strangers, including people that seek to profit by attempting to take unflattering or even embarrassing photos of someone famous and then selling these.

    Some years ago, someone published embarrassing photos of Brittany Spears. In one case, these were simply photos of her at a convenience store, buying treats for her kids. Wouldn’t you just love it if such a mundane task in your life became a matter of public interest, complete with commentary by a bunch of strangers whom would seek to impose their opinions? I know I wouldn’t like it.

    In another case, anatomically embarrassing photos of Brittany Spears (or at least photos claiming to be of Brittany Spears) made the rounds. Now where I came from, if someone inadvertently revealed a bit too much, it was considered proper to avert one’s eyes and allow the matter to pass without notice. These days, it has become a photo opportunity and a source of big bucks for the person with the camera. Why would anyone want this sort of fame?

    For that matter, why would anyone want any fame? Anonymity is a gift.

    1. Once again, God’s word provides a fine balance. Proverbs 30:8
      Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
      give me neither poverty nor riches;
      feed me with the food that is needful for me,

      I feel blessed. I am prosperous enough that I don’t experience need, but I’m nowhere near being rich. Even at this stage in life, I have to mind my business and I’m about five working years from being able to retire, but I am employed, and I have a job which I can do without beating myself up physically.

      There are certainly things I wish I could own, but can’t afford, however the experience I have gained by living in neither poverty or riches has taught me that lots of expensive possessions also me lots of ongoing costs, which detract from my overall financial freedom. Translation: even if someone gave me the Mercedes Roadster I’ve always dreamed of, the license, insurance and maintenance costs would be burdensome. Double translation: if you want to make me the gift of a Mercedes Roadster, make certain to include a million bucks or so, so I can afford to keep it. 🙂

  2. Well, all these snake-oil ads aren’t anything new, Remember the ads in the backs of old comic books? For that matter, Donizetti’s opera “L’Elisir d’Amor” (“Elixir of Love”) is based almost entirely on a traveling mountebank who sells an all-purpose cure-all and a villager who asks him for a love potion that he’s heard about so he can win a certain woman’s love. Nothing new under the sun.

    1. And there was also “The Inspector General,” with Danny Kaye selling “Yacov’s Elixir, drink it till you burst!”
      Speaking of ads in the back of old comic books, I was rather disappointed in my Joy Buzzer.

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