Are You Named ‘Rumpelstiltskin’?

Rumpelstiltskin - Fairy Tales - Research and Course Guides at Missouri Southern State University

[Note: I’m not feeling well today, my wife feels worse than I do, and my editor feels worse than she does. Nevertheless, we’ll try to maintain business as usual.]

Imagine writing a business letter and having to start it, “Dear Mr. Rumpelstiltskin.”

Imagine hearing a court case, The People vs. Rumpelstiltskin.

Imagine anyone named Rumpelstiltskin running for Congress.

You get the point. The name has no business outside a fairy tale. But look at my name, which winds up on book covers. It is pronounced a dozen different ways, none of them right. Dye-gon. Dooo-gin. Doo-jion. Du-gong (a marine mammal related to the manatee). At least most people can say “Rumpelstiltskin.”

I asked “Answers.com” if there’s anybody really named Rumpelstiltskin. The tantalizing answer was “At least one.” Hmm… That’s all there was to it. It raises more questions than it answers.

Rumpelstiltskin for U.S. Senate. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

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