A Poem for Putin? (Oh, Good Grief!)

Blue Jay — Hudson Crossing Park

I couldn’t bear to post any video of this, um… poem. But it’s all over the Internet. Seek and ye shall find. Here’s a nice picture of a bluejay instead.

I know, I know–I said I wasn’t gonna cover any nooze today. But I can’t help it. This much buffoonery simply must not pass without comment.


A former TV star (in shows I never heard of, let alone watched: life is much too short), model, and busy little activist, Annalynne McCord, has composed and tweeted a poem to Vladimir Putin. Everybody knows there’s nothin’ like a swell poem to melt an old KGB man’s heart.

The poem is about “If I was your mother…” (Oh, gesundheit, I hope I can type this!) No, it’s not “If I was your mother, I’d tan your bottom and send you to bed without supper.” It’s more like “If I was your mother I would just gooey-nice all over you and you would grow up to be somebody who could scamper across a whole field of buttercups without squishing them down…” The idea is, Putin views the tweet, slaps himself on the forehead, hard, and totally calls off the invasion of Ukraine. “What was I thinking??? Boy howdy, momma, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Could we please do some meditation…?”

Wait a minute. Ms. McCord wants to be Putin’s mama, obviously convinced she’d do a much better job than the real Mother Putin.

But how does she know that?

Ms. McCord has no children of her own. Never has.

Ain’t it just grand, bein’ a liberal? You don’t need to have the foggiest idea what you’re talking about. Just say what everybody else says.

And you wonder why the bad guys of this world don’t take America seriously anymore.

4 comments on “A Poem for Putin? (Oh, Good Grief!)

  1. I was going to say that when she grows older this poem will have been the embarrassment of her life — but then I realized that this kind of person may grow older but probably will never grow up.

    1. She’s already 34–running out of time to become an adult.

      You’re right, though. My college poetry has all been burned and the ashes scattered to the wind. I’d drop dead if it ever came to light.

  2. These people live in a fantasy. They don’t understand that bad things can, and do happen, and that some people chose to do evil to others. People are being killed. Innocent people that just want to go about their business have lost their lives. Life changing injuries are being sustained. Lives and livelihoods are being ruined, while the valuable products of people’s hard work are being destroyed; homes, businesses and the world’s largest cargo plane, which has done a lot of cool for mankind, in civil engineering projects.

    I don’t know why Mr. Putin chose this course of action, but I’m relatively certain that being fawned over by some actress wouldn’t have made a difference. World leaders make life and death decisions and aren’t likely to be swayed by sentiment. Would Harry Truman have not dropped the bomb if only his mother had been more gooey-nice all over him? Give me a break!

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