Violet Crepuscular stunned the romance world last week by introducing a new character into her epic romance, Oy, Rodney. “I have introduced a new character into my epic romance, Oy Rodney,” Ms. Crepuscular writes.
None other than Dr. Weezle! The rhinoceros spun her cocoon behind his chicken coop. (Trust me, you will never find another sentence quite like that one.)
“This is a corrascible problem!” groans Lord Jeremy Coldsore, still recovering from the trampling he got two weeks ago. Overcome by pity, Constable Chumley has made room for Lord Jeremy in his coal bin. Riotous servants won’t let Jeremy back into his ancestral home.
And then there’s Dr. Weezle–or, to give him his full name, Dr. Emrys Chrysanthemum Weezle, M.D., Ph. D., M.B.E., G.O.P., Q.C. Arctic explorer in his youth. Author of This Here House Full of Nitwits. Destined to be almost knighted for the part he almost played in the Boxer Rebellion.
What role does he play in this story?
“Don’t rush me!” snaps Ms. Crepuscular. “I don’t just write romance and suspense, you know. I am trying to make toothpaste candy canes for Mr. Pitfall’s Christmas party. If you had any idea how delicate and fustulent a job that is, you’d just shut up and go away!”
I know of no other author who tells her readers to go away.
No wonder Dr. Weezle didn’t manage to play a role in the Boxer Rebellion, considering that he’s living in the 19th century and the Boxer Rebellion took place in the 20th century. 🙂
Phoebe,
By fixating on meaningless details, you spoil everything. This is the Queen of Suspense writing; she has it under control. 🙂
And I did say “almost”!
Now, now–I’ve known several people who were born in the 19th century.