Hey! What’s for supper, Wilma? Mammoth, Fred–mammoth meatballs. Betty and Barney had them last night and they’re still alive. I think.
Huzzah. An Australian company working on “cultivated meat”–that is, fake meat grown in a lab–says they’ve managed to clone up some mammoth flesh from ancient DNA, resulting in (yum-yum!) mammoth meatballs (https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/mar/28/meatball-mammoth-created-cultivated-meat-firm). No one has actually eaten one yet. Find some plebs to do it. Always more where they came from.
Company officials admit it’ll be a challenge “to transition a few billion people” from eating meat. But heck, they’ve had all this practice with the COVID Pandemic–surely they know by now how to tread us into the ground. And anyway it’s gotta be done for The Climate Crisis! Honk if you think we have one for real. Honk twice if you think it’s just hot air coming out of big mouths.
See? It’s not all bugs! Give ’em time, and you’ll be eating anything and everything they say you must eat. No more White Castles… but how about some nice fake alpaca meat?