Category Archives: science news

‘Piffle Alert! The “Lunar Temple”‘ (2017)

Sunlit lunar temple

The thought that such deluded individuals have the power to levy taxes on normal people, and make them pay, is enough to give you nightmares.

I wonder how far they’ve gotten with their “Lunar Temple” project, and how much money they’ve spent on it already.

Yessireebob, we’re gonna have a colony on the moon–why? because you saw it in a science fiction movie?–and there we’re gonna build a Temple only there ain’t gonna be no God in this Temple blah-blah-blah-blah!

The Europeans are such a reliable guide. Whatever they’re doing, turn around and do the opposite–and you’re bound to be right.

‘Why College Students Are So Childish’ (2015)

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Believe it or not, he’s 36 years old!

The reason for this, I would’ve said offhand, is that that’s the way our evil godless rulers want ’em. But there is a scientific explanation!

I wonder if the plan is to get literally everyone into college and keep them there for as long as they live, while robots do all the work. Imagine–“higher education” that goes on and on until you die.

What use these lifelong students will be to anyone, well, that’s a puzzler.

‘Can Fools Create Wise Computers?’ (2014)

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In a word, No–fools cannot create wise computers. In fact, “wisdom” is not something that can be imparted to any computer, by anyone.

Even so, we have “scientists” warning us that someday the computers are going to be way smarter than us and they’re gonna take over and OMG we’re all gonna die, die, die–!

Well, they’d better do it fast, because we’ve only got 11 years now before Climbit Change does us in.

Robot Equipped with AI Hunts Witches

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(Note: I have consulted the highest authority available before posting this. The fact that he has not gotten around to answering is immaterial and irrelevant. So there.)

Dr. Miggle Windsock is reputed to be the most able computer programmer in the world. He also believes in witches. “These evil creatures, who have supernatural powers, are responsible for most of the things that go wrong in most people’s lives,” he says. “All a witch has to do is cast a spell, and your blind date turns out to be a disaster.”

And so he has done something about it–created a robot equipped with Artificial Intelligence for identifying witches, no matter how impenetrable their various disguises might be to ordinary people. “They can run,” he says, “but they can’t hide.”

Sorting out a plethora of clues according to some 300 subtle parameters–gee, I like the sound of that! Don’t you?–Dr. Windsock’s robot has already unmasked several dozen witches disguised as Wal-Mart greeters, crossing guards, real estate agents, and even a professional baseball player.

“Just letting people know who they are takes away a lot of their power,” says Dr. Windsock. “But the really indispensable step is political: the government has to re-criminalize the practice of witchcraft. That’ll be difficult, because there are so many witches currently in Congress and state legislatures. I don’t need my robot to identify them!”

But the success of the robot, Dr. Windsock says, proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Artificial Intelligence “is a thing,” that it doesn’t depend on the mind-set or the intelligence of the programmer, and that anyone who questions it “is probably a witch, too, and needs to be dealt with accordingly.”

Yes, Your Car is Spying on You

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With the help of an engineer who hacks cars’ computers to reconstruct accidents, the Washington Post hacked into a Chevy Volt’s computer recently and found that “vehicles are recording their owners’ every move” (

You name it, the computer records it–where you go, how long you stay, who you call on your cell phone, just about anything that has to do with being in a car. The engineer found that the computer that runs the car’s “entertainment system”–oh, please–is most vulnerable to hackers.

But General Motors would not tell The Post just what information it was collecting. Nor are they saying what they do with it! (Someone really should have asked that question.) Are they selling it? If so, to whom? Who wants that kind of information, besides the communist Chinese government?

Don’t buy anything that’s pitched to you as “smart.” It’ll probably be used to spy on you.

Jesu defend us.

The Congo Dinosaur

What are the crown jewels of cryptozoology?

Gotta be the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and this, the dinosaur rumored to inhabit the swamps of the Congo–Mokele Mbembe.

By all accounts, Mokele Mbembe resembles a scaled-down (to elephant size) brontosaur living in some of the most difficult and inhospitable terrain in the world. It’s all swamps, even the pygmies don’t like to venture too far in. But the people who do live there declare that Mokele Mbembe is real.

So far, none of the expeditions sent to those swamps has come back with proof of Mokele Mbembe’s existence. The best we’ve got is this grainy, wobbly little bit of film, displayed above. Of course, if they ever did succeed in obtaining proof, Mokele Mbembe would instantly cease to be cryptozoology and be regular zoology instead. This is what gives cryptozoology its slightly cracked but also slightly noble flavor.

What if, somewhere in the world, there is a living dinosaur? What hath God wrought! What if dinosaurs have only gone almost extinct? ‘Cause “almost extinct” means “a little bit extant.” I mean, heck, the stories don’t go away, there are always stories: always people saying that they’ve seen a dinosaur.

And who wouldn’t want to see one?

‘Our Immoral and Unrighteous Government’ (2014)

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The Climate Change Twins, 2014. Sort of like the Certs Twins, only infinitely more dangerous and costly.

When I posted this in 2014, Donald Trump had yet to become president (or even a serious candidate) and tear the curtain off the Deep State for everyone to see. And so a reader admonished me to “limit your crusade to religion and morality” and leave Bent Science alone.

The problem nowadays, though, is that you can’t separate crooked science from crooked government. The whole purpose of the Climate Change scam is to grow the government at the people’s expense.

I mean, really, it’s so flaming obvious. They subject us to all sorts of humiliating limitations on our freedom, grab the money that we worked for, and then, when nothing happens with the “climate,” they proudly proclaim, “See? We saved the planet, didn’t we?”

There’s no excuse for falling for such clumsy tricks.

Your ‘Smart’ TV Is Spying on You

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Beware the eye behind the eye!

When they’re not busy trying to overturn the 2016 election, the FBI occasionally likes to try its hand at protecting us from other criminals.

So the FBI is warning consumers that the shiny new “smart TV” they buy will very likely wind up spying on them ( Well, we’ve told you to steer clear of anything that’s pitched to you as “smart,” haven’t we?

According to the FBI, TV manufacturers and app developers can use built-in cameras to spy on consumers. Why would they want to do that? Probably so they can sell information about you to advertisers. Hackers can also get into the system and use your TV to spy on you. And they’ll do worse than sell you to advertisers.

Says the FBI,. “At the low end of the risk spectrum, they can change channels, play with the volume, and show your kids inappropriate videos. In a worst-case scenario, they can turn on your bedroom’s TV camera and microphone and silently cyberstalk you.”

Among suggested means of protecting yourself is to stick a piece of black tape over the camera eye. I do like those low-tech solutions to hi-tech problems.

Ultimately, just because it’s the kind of thing that always happens, this technology will be used by power-hungry sharks in government to find out whether you’ve been naughty or nice. It’ll be very helpful to them in carrying out a “fundamental transformation” of America.

A small price to pay for Entertainment, though…

‘Lake Murray, New Guinea: Dinosaur Sightings’ (2015)

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Can it possibly be true–there are dinosaurs gallumphing around in New Guinea?

You know what the problem is with cryptozoology? The moment cryptozoologists find a critter they were looking for, it ceases to be cryptozoology and instantly becomes zoology.

I wonder how many people actually see Lake Murray, during the course of a year.

Loch Ness is a lot easier to visit.


‘Artificial Intelligence’ at Work

Mindless simulations of human thought processes will only take you so far. It is not “intelligence,” artificial or otherwise. It’s an imitation.

Nowhere is that more obviously seen than in the arts. And yes, translation is an art. If you can read enough Spanish to get by in Cervantes, you soon realize that no translation into English has ever quite done him justice.

Dig Google’s computer “translation” of the Simon & Garfunkel classic, The Sounds of Silence. Because a robot has no mind, and can only do whatever it’s been programmed to do, and is bound to be even more of a doofus than the programmer, what comes out here is pretty close to pure gibberish.

Gee, I can hardly wait till they translate the Declaration of Independence.

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