In case you missed it–performing brain surgery, putting out a fire, whatever–Violet Crepuscular, The Queen of Suspense, last week threw open her in-progress novel to her readers… announcing a contest to name the Royal Millipede Inspector in her epic romance, Oy, Rodney. The prize: literary immortality!
Since then, two or three entries have poured in from all over the world.
From Pungdoosh, Afghanistan: “What are you talking about? What is milly-peed, please?”
A reader in Fitzburgh, Kansas: “Is this with Reader’s Digest?”
And from Sverlovinsk-Druzh, Siberia, “My mother hurt her coccyx yesterday.”
None of this gets us into Chapter DCLXXXXIV of the romance. “For that you need a ladder and a crowbar!” quips Ms. Crepuscular. “All I can tell you is, once we get the millipede inspector named, and he and Lady Margo recognize each other as long-lost childhood sweethearts–well, oh-boy, things are gonna sizzle! But good!”
Notice we’re going nowhere at all without a name for this character. We leave him inspecting the streets of Scurveyshire for sub-standard millipedes.
I nominate Mille-Pete. It rolls of the tongue, onto the floor, and is carted away by strange creeping insects with numerous legs. 🙂