Violet Crepuscular, The Queen of Suspense, has carried out her threat to spread toothpaste on her cold cuts and offer it to company (shades of Titus Andronicus).
Here we are, trying to get into Chapter DCCXXXII of her interminable classic romance, Oy, Rodney–and she has lost the thread of the story. She makes no apology for that.
“All I need, really, is another subplot,” she confides in the reader. “Prince Albert got lost in Scurveyshire once, and it took him three years to find his way out. But he did lose a whole year when Constable Chumley arrested him for vagrancy.”
The new subplot–ten years later–concerns Prince Albert’s plans for revenge against Scurveyshire. Lord Jeremy Coldsore is in Al’s cross-hairs. So is the inoffensive Mr. Pudding, whose only passion in life is newts.
“The thing is,” explains Ms. Crepuscular, “to make your romance romantic, because then what is romantic becomes romance.
“If I were Lord Jeremy, I’d watch my step!”
A week has been set aside for step-watching.
Violet Crepuscular seems to have contracted the Kamala Harris wordsalad virus.
Let’s hope it goes away. The cure is painful.
Indeed, one misstep in this knot of plot twists and sub plots could be unrecoverable. The treatise on romance may have killed a few brain cells. 🙂