G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here–and if these TV listings get any smaller, I’ll have to wear glasses.
Here, have some listings that are a bit easier to read–brought to you by Quokka U.
Saturday
4:30 p.m. Ch. 24 WIDE WORLD OF CLUMSY–Sports, sort of
Join host Igor Fanabla as he calls the plays for the world’s clumsiest athletes. Critic Ahab Shyder called this show “a vision of Tartarus.” Still waiting for the first clumsy athlete to complete the course successfully and win a tricycle with a seat belt.
6:17 p.m. Ch. 03 PORKY THE PIRATE–Riveting historical melodrama
Did we say “riveting”? Well, heck, that’s what Porky (Edgar Slopp) does! This week: Captain Spiggot (Soupy Sales) needs his whole bottom re-riveted–and Porky doesn’t realize he’s talking about his ship, not his buttocks! Woman who makes cryptic comments: Sandy Duncan.
Sunday
8:01 a.m. Ch. 64 BAD DOG, LASSIE!–Unbearably tragic tales
What happens when a good dog (Footsie) goes completely bad? This week: the Whately farm is overrun by ferocious salamanders–while Lassie raids the hen-house! Mrs. Spider: (It’s a real spider, they don’t have names). Farmer Pince-nez: Chiang Tei-hsiao.
7:14 p.m. Ch. 12 THIS DRESS DOES MAKE ME LOOK FAT!–Fashion
The contestants don’t know it, but host Ginger Ninjur has a whole bucket of locusts to turn loose in this collection of formal wedding dresses by Ingmar Bergman. Who will be the first to climb the Ladder of Escape? Who’ll be the first to ride the Chute of Despair?
Well, folks, on second thought, I won’t need glasses to watch these, after all.
Whaddaya think? Keep ’em or lose ’em? Byron the Quokka, signing off.
Looks as though Violet Crepuscular has written the script for this week’s “Bad Dog, Lassie” episode. 🤣🤣🤣
“WIDE WORLD OF CLUMSY–Sports, sort of” – This is a great idea, Byron; it reminds me of the TV show that featured the dumbest criminals. “PORKY THE PIRATE–Riveting historical melodrama” – I can easily imagine Soupy Sales doing this bit on his afternoon show he has back in the day which I never missed when home from school. “BAD DOG, LASSIE!–Unbearably tragic tales” – sorry Byron, but this show will never make it in the States where Lassie is reverenced as a good dog. “THIS DRESS DOES MAKE ME LOOK FAT!–Fashion” – This one seems to be right up there with “Queen for a Day.”
Oh, yeah! I hurried home from high school to watch Soupy Sales. He was a big fad at our school.
I liked him for while, but then he began to wear thin after a while.
Porky the Pirate sounds, well, riveting. 🙂