If you see Violet Crepuscular coming, please let me know so I can try to get away.
The Queen of Suspense naturally blames me for not keeping up with her tempestuous romance novel, Oy, Rodney–like it was my fault she ran off with Mr. Pitfall and didn’t return until he actually fell into a pit! So Violet has 536 chapters written and not much to show for it.
[Violet Crepuscular’s rebuttal]
You landlubbers! You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things! I mean, the guy STOPS PUBLISHING my Oy, Rodney chapters and it’s like my fault??? And he won’t get away with hiding in the hospital for five months, either!! I swear, if I have to write my book myself, I’ll ding-dang do it!!! Do you hear me, Mr. Whatsisname? Raise your hand if you didn’t hear me say “Raise your hand!”
[End of rebuttal.]
See what I have to deal with? Note to Ms. Crepuscular: How am I supposed to edit and publish your chapters when you stop writing them? You haven’t submitted a chapter this year! Last we heard, you had the June Taylor Dancers invading Victorian Scurveyshire. Try editing that and see where it gets you!
I will not answer any more of your crude and graceless telegraphs. (Signed) The Editor
(Maybe I’d better take some kung-fu lessons…)
Violet Crespucular and Kung Fu would be a very dangerous mix. Don’t give her any ideas. 🙂
Oh, boy, now the original novel AND the novel-author’s life have erupted (or eructed?) into our own neighborhood. Yikes! Call in the Quokka Brigade and it’s all hands to the pump. Or something.