CNN ‘Hero’… in the ‘War Zone’

Chris Cuomo attends the 12th Annual CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute at American Museum of Natural History on December 9, 2018 in New York City.

Not since Hillary Clinton at the Alamo, Joe Biden at Valley Forge, and Pee Wee Herman at Thermopylae have we seen such raw grit as fired CNN anchor Chris Cuomo has displayed, reporting “live from the Ukraine war zone.” Helmet and all. Dodging artillery shells, dancing around the mines.

And 24 hours later he’s spotted in the Hamptons. Whoosh! Magic slippers, anyone? Who knew Russian troops had gotten as far west as Long Island?

Cuomo was fired by CNN–this is where the journalism bar is set really, really low–for helping his brother Andrew get away with assorted misdeeds as governor of New York. So now he’s “free-lancing.” He went to Ukraine in June. Now he’s back.

It reminds me of Dan Rather’s maybe-maybe not expedition to Afghanistan to cover the Soviet invasion of that country. There is a sizeable body of opinion that Gunga Dan, native costume and all, never set foot in Afghanistan and was perfectly satisfied to use the much safer scenery they had in Pakistan. He denies it to this day, but I don’t believe him.

Okay, maybe Cuomo did go to the Ukraine war zone, maybe he didn’t–no way to find out. It’s just that we’ve learned that our big-name noozies almost never tell the truth… about anything. I mean, come on–Hillary Clinton dodging bullets on an embattled airfield in the Balkans? “And then I drew my Clinton knife! They call it a Bowie knife, but I invented it! David Bowie never had a knife like this…”

Save it for the campfire, Chris. Maybe some kid will enjoy it.