Are They Really Quite This Crazy?

It's Alive!

“It’s alive! It’s alive!”

According to the Wall Street Journal, “scientists” in Chinese Communist labs–with American money behind them–have succeeded in creating a “chimera” that’s half-human, half-monkey (

Oh, don’t worry! It’s just a clump of cells–they haven’t grown it into something from a 1950s monster movie. Yet. And anyway, it’s for a noble purpose–to grow organs for patients who need transplants, and to combat disease.

That’s what they always say before they invent a new virus and let it escape from the lab.

Hello? Hello? I’d like to speak to Sanity, please! I want to know why America is in bed with its sworn enemy, tinkering with dangerous germs. I mean, these are the Chicoms, the Bad Guys, Mordor here and now–why are we involved with them?

Speaking or organ transplants, does anybody not know that the Chicoms “harvest” organs from live political prisoners? Why do we have anything to do with them?

Maybe it’s because Democrats admire Communist China and would like to turn our country into a carbon copy of it. Certainly enough of them have said so. I think we should believe them.

Oh, well, how can it be dangerous to cook up chimeras in the lab? So you make it possible for certain diseases to spread from animals to humans, that couldn’t do it before. Surely that research will never be used to harm us!

And I am the Admiral of the Queen’s Nay-Vee!