Tag Archives: silly science

Beware! Robot Can Generate Fake News

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Their next invention: a robot that lets the air our of your tires and runs away

This has got to be the most superfluous invention of them all–an “Artificial Intelligence” (AI) system that can detect fake nooze created by other artificial intelligence systems… and also create fake nooze itself (https://futurism.com/ai-generates-fake-news).

Do they really think CNN needs any help in whipping up fake nooze?

Scientists at the University of Washington have programmed computers to do what so-called “real journalists” are already doing every day–creating and airing stories that simply aren’t true. Trump’s a Russian agent. Jussie Smollet was attacked by white supremacists. Covington High School kids picked on some poor old Native American war hero. Those stories were all fake nooze, not a word of truth in them: but each in its turn dominated the nooze cycle.

If there was ever anything that didn’t need inventing, it’s got to be a machine that tells lies.

We’re Doomed! (again)

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(“We are so ****ed…”)

I hope you’re sitting down for this.

According to research by the University of Alaska, “If the current rates of greenhouse gas emissions remain unchanged,” the vast isle of Greenland may be ice-free–

–By the year 3000! (https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-blogs/climatechange/greenland-ice-sheet-could-completely-melt-out-by-the-year-3000/70008659)

Alas, alack, and welladay! Game over, man! Why, that’s only… only [breaks out calculator; hands trembling, drops it, picks it up, drops it again]… Good grief! That’s only 1,900 years from now! Everything’ll wind up underwater but the Himalayas!

Well, like, s***, that settles it–all power and all money to a global government, and maybe, just maybe, they can save us! Otherwise when the year 3000 comes around and you find yourself standing around without a lifeboat as the water level rises to your eyeballs–and that’s with you standing on the roof!–don’t blame the government. We told you we had to have absolute power over everything and everybody! We told you we had to have all your money! But you wouldn’t listen! You wouldn’t listen to Science! And now you see what happens to people who won’t listen to Science.

Pack your water wings, folks! It’s gonna get mighty wet in just another 19 hundred years.

Do We Need a Human Brain in a Monkey?

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There is no one who doesn’t want scientists to find a cure for Alzheimer’s disease. But so far there has been no cure; because the animals whose brains they study just really aren’t similar enough to human brains to be worth that much.

So what we need, say scientists in Canada and China, and at Yale, is to inject human tissue into a monkey’s brain to make it much more like a human brain (https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/it-just-really-ethically-scares-me-caution-urged-as-scientists-look-to-create-human-monkey-chimeras)… And honk if you think this is a good idea.

See, they need a “better” animal to study, to experiment on. They are thinking of “biologically humanizing a large portion of a monkey’s brain.”

Uh-huh. And when the monkey turns around and sues you, what then? Like, just how human do you want to make the monkey’s brain? And is that really the sort of thing a righteous person does? Really?

Close observation of human patients–wouldn’t that be better?

Maybe–but not as much fun  as playing Frankenstein with monkey brains.

‘Let’s Make Robots That Evolve!’

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“I think my toaster-oven has fallen in love with your hair dryer…”

It’d be funny if it wasn’t so destructive to sanity: “scientists” saying, with a straight face, “Let’s prove Intelligent Design is wrong by designing robots that evolve!”


Unknowable wondered if these announcements are only there to generate publicity and hopefully attract funding. Science as hoopla. Well, it pays to advertise.

I’ve been wondering why the Drudge Report re-publishes so many of these stories. They usually turn out to be tripe.


Mr. Nature: The ‘Tyrannosaur Petroglyph’

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So you look at this thingy carved into the sandstone wall of Havasupai Canyon, Arizona, and what do you see? I’m afraid I see a prehistoric Droodle: “Worms evicted from apple, trying to move into an olive.”

But a lot of people, over the years, see something astonishing. They think this is a depiction of… a Tyrannosaurus rex.

I’ve read about this petroglyph for years, but never until now saw a picture of it. I was expecting something that at least sort of looked like a tyrannosaur. This ain’t doin’ it for me: and once upon a time my favorite comic book was Turok Son of Stone, about a couple of Indians who stumble into a canyon where dinosaurs still live. I really wasn’t going to be that hard to please.

How many creationists have written of this petroglyph as proof positive that humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time? How many have triumphantly declared that this totally overthrows Darwinism? (Hear me out, guys–I’m on your side.)

But the drawing doesn’t look like anything.

Darwinism is indeed silly, but not because of any petroglyphs. You can’t reconcile the deep conservatism of DNA with the idea that one kind of animal “evolves” into another.

God created dinosaurs, and God removed them from the earth. Why? We don’t know. The Bible tells us everything we need to know (as Rev. Mark McCreary says), not everything we’d like to know. God has left us plenty to find out on our own. All we can say for sure is that if there are any dinosaurs alive today, we don’t know about it.

We have to do better than this petroglyph. It is not proof of anything. For all we know, the thing the artist was trying to draw was no bigger than the drawing itself. He might’ve even magnified it. But I am sure I could’ve drawn a more convincing tyrannosaur than that when I was five years old.

This is not to be confused with the art we find in Ice Age caves, which depicts living (at the time) animals realistically and with great skill that wasn’t matched again until high civilizations had developed… or been re-developed. So much about the deep past that we don’t know! We give God thanks for providing us with so much to investigate.

Can You Buy Eternal Life?

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It’s the free gift of God to all who believe in Jesus Christ (John 3:16), but some of the world’s richest men don’t believe it. Instead, they’re looking to buy eternal life (https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/9194101/from-young-blood-transfusions-to-apocalypse-insurance-weird-ways-billionaires-are-trying-to-live-forever/).

The Star reports five of the most popular live-forever schemes. 1) Find a cure for aging. Lotsa luck with that. 2) Put a computer chip in your brain because “humans must become one with machines,” blah-blah. Prepare to merge with your toaster-oven. 3) Buy “apocalypse insurance.” Somebody needs to brush up on the Book of Revelation. 4) Get a lot of transfusions of “young blood”! Elizabeth Bathory tried that, but she died in 1614 after living in solitary confinement for five years. Today’s tech billionaires seek to improve upon her methods, which included serial murder. 5) “Digital consciousness,” meaning “upload your brain into a computer.” There’s a catch to it–your body dies.

Is this pathetic, or what? Do these people think they’re indispensable? (“I must be, or I wouldn’t have a billion dollars!”)

God help us if any of these tricks ever seems to work. Then every politician in the country will follow suit. Welcome to Year 700 of Listening to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Would you believe it? She’s still complaining!

They Want You to Live Like Morlocks

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How long does it take for people to Evolve into Morlocks?

Boy, the crap that’s in the nooze these days…

“Experts”–the unnamed kind: just “experts”–are touting the virtues of moving our civilization underground to escape the ravages of Climbit Change, Overpopulation, food shortages, and any other globalist boogeyman they can think of (https://au.news.yahoo.com/only-way-down-subterranean-survival-warning-022606429–spt.html).

See, they’re into “re-purposing places below street level” so they can meet “seven of the United Nations’ sustainable development goals.” [How do you spell the sound a raspberry makes? Never mind, I’ll get the video.]

Anyway, living underground like moles will protect us from the “severe weather Climate Change is expected to spark”–expected by whom? By schmendricks who believe this bunk. Going underground will slow down the loss of farmland–farmland that gets paved over by the same corrupt politicians who are serving us this environmental pap, richly seasoned with hypocrisy. And we can stuff all our cars underground, too! Because cars–at least cars owned by us peasants–are so baaaaad! “Cars are killing cities,” prattle the experts. Wrong, bozo. The jerks who govern the cities are killing the cities.

So then, boys and girls, all the lib’rals went underground to live, and over thousands of years, the magic of Evolution turned them into Morlocks! And then they came out of hiding and ate the defenseless Eloi people–breakfast, lunch, and supper! And the moral of the story is, The Experts Are Always Right! Now eat your roach milk cakes, or we’ll have to report you to The Party…

Joe Collidge Explains How Flying Snakes Evolved

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Yiu “can” alyaws tel ordrinary dum peeple thay “nevver” goed to Collidge and thay are Anti Sience!! This one guy out Thare he dont know how themb Flying Snaiks thay Evolved so i amb goingto “tel” himb!!!

Hunderds of yeers ago thare was ordrinary reglur snaiks who keppt “falling” out “of” Trees and then thay de-sided thay auhght to do It On Porpus!! At frist thay jist kepp geting Kild but thay stuck whith “it” yeer afftar yeer, thay Practised untill thay got it rihght!!! Thay de-sided to Evolve thare boddies so as To Be Abel to Glyde!! For a wile thare thay was only Haf-way abel to fly butt Practise it maikes prefeckt!! al themb snaiks that falled Out “of” “the” Trees eventurly thay got good at glyding evvin “the” “ones” that got Kild thay stil hadded Baybe snaiks that didnt Fall so Hard!!! And eventurly becose of Natchral Sellectoin and Jeneticks thay was abel to Flygh!!!

In Nothing Studdies we “are” goingto “do this” hear Exspearmint some of us thay wil “jump” out of Dorm winders and Flap thare Arms lyke Whings al the weiy Down and iff stodents keep “doing” “this” fore menny Centries thay wil “get” beter And beter at it until thare Arms thay Evolve into Whings!!! Yiu jist has to allouw enuohgh Time four “it”!!!!!

A New ‘T. rex’… with Feathers?

This is the brand-new Tyrannosaurus reconstruction at the American Museum of Natural History in New York–complete with feathers. Scientists “know” T. rex had feathers because “closely related species” about a twentieth his size have left fossils with traces of something that might be feathers. So that’s how they “know.”

Sorry, I’m not buying this. For one thing, it looks shabby–more like a “winosaur” than a “dinosaur.” I mean, really, Turok Son of Stone would’ve laughed himself silly if he ever saw a Tyrannosaur that looked like a worn-out feather duster. Or a worn-out 1960s celebrity trying to make a comeback on a 1990s TV talk show.

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Oh, well… If you can’t idly speculate about dinosaurs, what can you idly speculate about?

Make it idle enough and you just might win a chair at a prestige university.

‘More Fantasy Disguised as Science’ (2011)

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I just had to rerun this post from 2011, an appalling example of what passes for science these days.


See how quickly they slide from a pure product of their imaginations into talking and writing about it as if it were a real thing. It’s like reading a natural history of the jackalope.

“Once upon a time, boys and girls, Pan Prior lived in the forest…”

You could be embarrassed for these people, if they didn’t cost so much.

P.S.–Absolutely no relation to Maddy Prior.

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