[Warning! The information contained in this article may upset your stomach and lead to real discomfort.]
Listen up, you deplorables!
Your betters are gonna Save The Planet whether you like it or not, so you’d better learn to like it. And one of the things they mean to do is to replace real butter, which comes from cows, with this goo that comes from… well, maggots (https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/feb/28/larva-fat-sustainable-alternative-butter-cakes).
How dare you be grossed out? This is scientific! C’mon, now–what could be more appetizing than “black soldier fly larvae”? And you thought toothpaste sandwich cookies were horrible! Schiff, man–it’s “more sustainable”! If that doesn’t perk up your appetite, what will?
Now, don’t go expecting John Kerry or Barack Obama or Michael Bloomberg or Bernie Sanders to sit down to a nice stack of pancakes with maggot butter (and don’t even try to guess what they want us to use in lieu of maple syrup). This soldier fly goop is for us, not them. It won’t be on the menu at Davos, so don’t get your private jets in a twist, trying to get there before the fly butter is all gone.
We need to save the planet from the idiots who anoint themselves to Save The Planet.