Tag: silly science

‘We’ll Bring Back the Mammoth!’ REPRINT

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

 From February 16, 2017

 

The Original Sin was to disobey God in order, as the Serpent put it, to “be as gods” (Genesis 3:5). That sin is very much with us today.

Scientists have announced a plan to bring back the extinct woolly mammoth by messing about with mammoth DNA and Asian elephant DNA, cutting and pasting and “editing genes” to create a mammoth embryo ( https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/feb/16/woolly-mammoth-resurrection-scientists ). Then they can re-introduce a population of mammoths to the Siberian tundra to combat global warming! Oh–and as an added benefit, they predict these techniques can soon be refined so as to “reverse aging” in human beings.

As much as I would love to see a woolly mammoth, what I would be seeing here would not actually be a mammoth,  but rather an elephant that’s been tampered with to make it look like a mammoth–a counterfeit.

Does anyone honestly expect this to work out as advertised? Do a lot of us need to see Jurassic Park again?

Somehow reading stuff like this makes me feel like I’m getting stupider, not smarter.

Come, Lord Jesus, come–and save us from the folly of our worldly wisdom.

Another Darwinian Fairy Tale REPRINT

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

From April 17, 2016

Thanks to Global Warming and all that, says a scientist at the University of Kent, UK, rising sea levels are going to inundate the earth and the human race will evolve to live underwater, complete with gills, webbed feet and hands, an extra layer of fat for insulation, etc., etc. ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3396624/Webbed-feet-cat-s-eyes-gills-Features-just-humans-evolve-deal-water-world-global-warming-second-ice-age.html ) And voila! The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

It’s hard to decide how to label this. Is it poppycock, humbug, or just B.S.?

If a population of human beings devoted themselves, every day for hours at a stretch, to jumping as high as they could and flapping their arms, how long would it take for their arms to “evolve” into wings?

Or, if that’s asking too much of people who just might have better things to do, perhaps we could perform an experiment. Take some bats and don’t let them fly, but rather keep them in a watery environment day in, day out, for as many generations as it takes for the bats’ wings to evolve into flippers. What will we get out of this, other than a lot of wet, uncomfortable, and down-hearted bats?

I mean, is this stuff even science anymore? Our man from Kent relies on mutations to transform the human race into mermaids. That seems like a long shot, to me. But then that’s why the Darwin set insists on millions, or even billions, of years for Evolution to work its magic. Alas, the vast amounts of time involved make observation somewhat impractical. “You just wait a couple million years, and then you’ll see we were right!” What bunk.

And they say we Christians believe in silly things.

 

Before It Evolved into Twaddle…REPRINT

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

From March 27, 2019

My wife and I like watching videos of prehistoric animals. Usually we can just tune out the Evolution just-so story that accompanies the video, if the visuals are cool enough.

So we settled down on Youtube to watch Morphed: Before They Were Bears.

Apart from the initial absurdity of declaring that life arose from non-living materials, purely by chance, it rained on de rocks and de rocks come alive, doo-dah, doo-dah, we were treated to unbearable nonsense about… bears. It seems that whenever prehistoric bears encountered some kind of environmental challenge, they wisely considered what they would need and then proceeded to evolve it.

Oh, boy! Whoever said there’s no quality control on Youtube wasn’t kidding!

So, ya see, the giant panda needed an opposable thumb so he could hold on to the bamboo while he was eating it, but the digits he already had were spoken for, so he just, like, went ahead and evolved one of his wrist bones into a kind of thumb… and what he was eating while waiting for his magical thumb to evolve, who knows? If it takes millions of years for revolutionary new body parts to evolve, how does the species last long enough to benefit by it? Or if it happens real fast, then how come no naturalist or farmer or zoo-keeper or pet owner has ever observed it?

This doesn’t even rise to the level of crapola. We couldn’t make it halfway through this video before we had to turn it off.

Darwinism wouldn’t last another ten days if there weren’t such a deep political investment in it by the Left.

Crazy Science: Rats with Human Brains REPRINT

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

From November 8, 2017

 

Check out this headline from The Sun (UK): “Scientists are implanting tiny HUMAN brains into rats” (https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/4867891/scientists-give-rats-consciousness-by-implanting-them-with-tiny-human-brains/).

Hmm… what’s goin’ on here? Like, where do you get tiny human brains that can fit into rats’ skulls? This Science is being conducted at Stanford University, so maybe that’s where the tiny human brains are. Maybe the campus is lousy with ’em.

Later on the reporter lets slip that what he means by “tiny human brains” is, in fact, little clumps of cells, taken from human brain tissue, called “organoids.” These micro-items are implanted in a rat’s brain, three or four organoids, and at least sometimes, by and by, become “functionally integrated with the rat.” The Sun Illustrates this point with a picture of a hamster. I guess if you’ve seen one little furry animal, you’ve seen ’em all.

Scientists have already, the reporter adds, “hacked rats’ brains,” making them run or freeze or turn around just by throwing a switch… “using an invisible magnetic field.”

Uh, aren’t all magnetic fields invisible? You can’t just look out your window and see one, can you?

The purpose of these experiments, we are told, is to learn more about the function of the brain and maybe how to fix it when it malfunctions. Well, okay, who can be opposed to that? But some bioethicists are worried about what might happen if they cram, say, 1,000 organoids into a rat’s head. Wouldn’t that make the rat… human-like? And thus entitled to “some kind of respect”? Hopefully more respect than Christians or conservatives get on campus.

We’ll know better if the rats start lying to each other, stealing stuff, getting lost in mazes that they used to run successfully, or cheating at cards.

Meanwhile… couldn’t we, like, respect them just as they are?

Science to announce discovery of life on Mercury!

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From September 23, 2016

Scientists at the Obama Space Center are set to announce the discovery of life on the planet closest to the Sun.

Their statement was made in response to news reports that NASA was about to announce the discovery of life on Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons ( http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/712852/LIFE-on-Europa-NASA-alien-jupiter ).

“Just because they have a bigger budget, they think they’re the only space agency in town,” said Jango Densely, director of the Obama Space Center. “Then they go and paste up a headline that gets everybody all excited: Is There Life on Europa?  But then you read the damn thing, and what it says is that they’ve noticed ‘activity that may be–may be!–related to the presence of a subsurface ocean on Europa.’ What a load of bull! Why don’t NASA just stick to pushing Climate Change, and leave the real space exploration to us?”

According to unreliable but really kind of cool sources, the Obama Space Center plans to steal NASA’s thunder by announcing their discovery of “tiny little people” on the planet Mercury, “living in tiny little cities with tiny little buildings.”

“This is important because it proves that nothing in the Bible is true,” said a scientist who didn’t want to be named. “Only stuff that Darwin said is true. And now Attorney General Loretta Lunch–er, Lynch–is studying the possibility of investigating and prosecuting anyone who practices Evolution Denial.”

An even more confidential source said, “Don’t listen to any of them. All they found was an old Life Magazine up there.”

Psychedelic Drugs Make You… Live Longer?

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Rainbow Tongue Trip AI Generated

What? You thought the Sixties were over? Don’t be silly.

“Scientists” say using psychedelic drugs increases the user’s lifespan by 50% or more (https://news.emory.edu/stories/2025/07/hs_psilocybin_aging_study_10-07-2025/story.html).

Okay. So where do we find some of those 150-year-old acid-heads? I’ve met psychedelic drug users, but none of them seemed unusually long-lived. But maybe their lives only seemed a lot longer. I cannot believe they were enjoying themselves at the time. Mostly they were freaking out and very badly needed someone to take care of them.

I suspect Democrats are filing away this report for use in the next election.

‘Scientist Says Chimps Mated with Pigs to Produce Humans’ (Not a Satire)

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[From 2015]

“I wonder what I’ll get if I mate a grasshopper with a sea turtle…”

How do you amass a wallful of scientific credentials and still come off like a six-year-old claiming that he saw a giant and a unicorn playing jacks?

Scientist Says Chimps Mated With Pigs to Produce Humans (Not a Satire)

Does this world-famous genetics wallah not know that yes, you can breed animals that are closely related–a horse and a donkey, for instance–and get offspring that can’t reproduce. But a chimpanzee and a pig? No, that’s impossible. And as an “explanation” of how the human race came to be, it’s all wet.

If this is what we’re getting from our Science, then we need new science and new scientists who aren’t nincompoops. I wonder how had it is to find those.

‘Hooray! “Gay Caveman” Discovered’ (2015)

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It was the Holy Grail of Science, the Big Pay-off: the discovery of a “gay cave man.” That which they sought so earnestly, they found: proof (proof, I tell you!) that the “Gay Gene” is real. Can you gimme hallelujah?

Hooray! ‘Gay Caveman’ Discovered!

How do they know it was a “gay cave man” from about 5,000 years ago (much too late for “cave men,” but who’s counting?)? Well, they say, he was buried as a woman: that makes him Gay. In fact, we don’t KNOW why he was buried as a woman. For all we know, it was a mark of esteem.

Aw, shuddup, you peasants! Haters! Biggits! Who don’t know a Third Gender when they see one! How stupid can you be, not to know that Science is ALWAYS right?

And anyone who doesn’t think so should be beaten senseless.

‘Scientists Say the Darnedest Things! (A Job for Dead Astronauts) (2016)

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Animation Astronaut skeleton in a space suit. Color drawing ...

Think we’re getting good value for our tax dollars?

Here’s a government science project that didn’t get off the ground but still had to be paid for.

Scientists Say the Darnedest Things! (A Job for Dead Astronauts)

Is there any possibility that planting a dead astronaut on a planet in a star system light-years away would have any tangible result at all?

Where do they find the people who dream up these things? But maybe sending the dead to distant planets will at least get them out of our elections.

‘Yes, College Shrinks Your Brain’ (2021)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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By the time he graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Superhero Studies (and it took him six years to get it), Pottsy Boyle’s brain had shrunken to the size of a raisin.

But that’s what college does to you.

Yes, College Shrinks Your Brain

But it’s not just Superhero Studies, although they’re quite a big offender. There’s also Gender Studies, Feminist Intersectional Albino Studies, Critical Race Theory–hey, you’re lucky to get out of there with a brain the size of an orange.

The good news is, once you stop college, it only takes some twenty years for some of the brain to grow back.