Tag: silly science

‘Creeping Twaddle’ (2018)

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Image result for images of mother goddess statuette

Ah, the Feminist Golden Age! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Science could prove it once upon a time existed?

Creeping Twaddle

Figurines just like the one in the picture above have been found in prehistoric sites all over Southern Europe and the Near East. They have never been found along with writing. That means there’s precious little we can know about them or the people that made them.

That doesn’t stop certain “scientists” from rushing way out on a limb, reconstructing a lost world of “egalitarian agricultural” people ruled over by fat women. Sorry, that’s not science–unless that’s what science has degenerated into, these days. It’s only PC wishful thinking.

 

‘Where Science Ends and Fantasy Begins’ (2018)

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Image result for images of the iceman

Once upon a time there was an “Old Europe” in which there was no war, no inequality, no badness of any kind… because it was ruled by wimmin, dontcha know. That’s what feminist scientists tell us. I’m thinking scientists and feminists deserve each other.

Where Science Ends and Fantasy Begins

Ironic, isn’t it? The “Ice Man” is the only well-preserved body we have from Old Europe–and he’s a murder victim! What are the odds of that?

There is no evidence for a feminist Golden Age of “Old Europe,” but lack of evidence never gets in the way of Science anymore. We don’t need no stinkin’ evidence.

Now They Want to Take Your Cats and Dogs (2017)

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It was only four years ago that, um, “scientists” at UCLA wanted to take away your cats and dogs Because Global Warming.

New Global Warming Threat! Your Pet

Well, nothing has come of that–yet!–but it does serve to illustrate the limitless vistas of tyranny that dance round and round in leftists’ heads like visions of sugar plums. They eat other people’s freedom. They lust for it.

See, dogs and cats eat meat [shocked gasps from the peanut gallery]. So you gotta have only vegan pets. I have nothing against herbivorous animals, but I can’t see a cow or a sheep thriving in my apartment

Liberals are a menace to human life and sanity.

We really do need to find a way to get them out of our government and our other institutions.

‘Postponing Adulthood… Forever?’ (2013)

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Authoritarian governments like for their people to be like children–ignorant, helpless, incompetent, unable to live independently.

And so, a few years ago, UK scientists announced their discovery that the brain is “still developing” (!) at 25… At 25, they concluded, you’re still a child.

Postponing Adulthood… Forever?

After all, you wouldn’t want to “rush them into adulthood”! Someday, maybe, the brain does become an adult brain and you can finally be trusted with a credit card.

I wonder if we could have a contest to name things in our culture that make or encourage adults to remain in a state of perpetual childhood. I wonder how long a list that would be.

Should I Do Nooze Today?

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Study suggests T. rex's legs were made for walkin' – not running

A new study “strongly suggests” that Tyrannosaurus rex used its legs for walking. Well, that knocks the old ballroom dancing theory into a cocked hat. The jumping-jacks theory still has a few die-hards hanging on.

I happened upon a nooze story a few minutes ago and got a blood pressure surge, nor could I restrain certain vigorous exclamations. My wife said, “I thought we weren’t going to do this on the weekend.” Get all worked up over the nooze, she means.

Well, fair enough.

Attention, readers! What would you like to see on this blog on the weekends? I’d like to see more dinosaurs, but that’s only me. What would you like? Don’t ask me to be clairvoyant–tell me! As Popeye once said, “We aims t’please!”

Coming up by and by: Byron’s TV listings.

Oh, No! Air Is Racist, Too!

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47,249 Air pollution Images - Free & Royalty-free Stock Air pollution Photos & Pictures | Depositphotos

Uh… Aren’t our polluted cities governed mostly by “Science”-loving liberals?

When the National Academy of Sciences talks Science, all you peasants better listen!

The NAS has just discovered “pollution inequity,” caused by racist white people whose activities–such as using electricity–turn the air itself racist (https://www.conservativeglobe.com/articles/oh-great-now-the-air-is-racist-time-for-rep-air-ations/). ‘Cause, see, white folks cause most of the air pollution and People Of Color… breathe most of it! (Shut up! This is Science!)

But not to worry, social justice is at hand. The government’s got this. Simply charge those evil white folks more money for electricity–’cause after all they use so much of it–and charge POCs less! It’s a kind of reparations. And NPR is all in favor of that, so there!

Had enough yet, America?

 

‘As the “Science” Gets Sillier and Sillier’ (2018)

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Study our civilization! If you can find it.

Is there a secret government agency whose only job is to invent ever-more frivolous ways to waste our money?

I’d like to know how much this caper cost–“studying” the effects of Climbit Change on an alien civilization on another planet.

As the ‘Science’ Gets Sillier and Sillier

Just askin’–what do they mean by a “civilization”? Our own planet has had many civilizations. It has quite a few different ones today. But then most of science-fiction has always taken eventual Global Government as a given.

Heaven forbid.

I suppose, meanwhile, it would do no good to ask for our money back…

Now It’s ‘Racist’ Birds

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Tricky Bird Identification Tips | Celebrate Urban Birds

Do they know they’re racists?

So some Far Left Crazy doofus who writes field guides wants a whole bunch of birds’ names to be changed… because they’re “racist” (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/06/leftist-loons-now-targeting-racist-bird-names/).

Honk if you really, truly, deeply care if some bird you just saw at the birdbath is named after some bird-watcher in the 19th century that you never heard of but who had 19th century ideas ANDTHATSJUSTSOBADOMGIMHYPERVENTILATING–!

This donk wants all birds’ names changed if they were named by or for “racists.” ‘Cause just because you lived 150 years before Woke was even thought of, that’s no excuse for not being Woke.

What do you want to bet he’d have no trouble at all naming some finch after Mao Tse-tung, the most prolific mass murderer of all time?

Really, it’s time this was all stopped cold.

Haow ‘To” Fined A Seecrit Racist!!!

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Spinner Board / Dial Assembly - Print & Play

Boy has we got hi teck naow!!!!! If yiu “are” “a” Racist, we are goingto Get yiu!!!

This heer it “is” a Hi-Teck Racist Deteckter!! Yiu spin “the” aroew and wen “it” Stopps Spining it whil “Be” poynting At A Racist!!!!!!!!! It is trooly The Laitist fromb our Collidge Syince Depotmint!!!!

I amb nott shur waht themb Numb’ers “are”,, i “Think” thay telll yiu Haow Big a Racist somb one Is!!

Racists thay Cannot “hyde” no moar,; we whil awlyaws Fyined themb!!! Awl yiu Racists oaut thare yiu “mite” “as whell” torn yorselfs in And take “yore” Punitshmint!!!!!!! The Hi-Teck Racist Deteckter it whil fyned yiu!!

This it jist “gose” to “sho” yiu haow Grate Siyince “is!”!” We has tryed this “heer” Deevyce umpteen Tymes “all-reddy” and it have Nevver “wunts” fayled to fynde the Racist in “the” Roomb!!!!!!!!!! and if yiu doughnt Know “yiu” “are” A Racist,, this Is haow yiu whil Fynde Oaut!!! Thare “are” a Lott of yiu whoo dosnt Know yiu “are” Racists AND That “IS” NO AXCUSSE!!!!!!

And somb Hater he sayed Waht “whil yiu Idjjits do wen the spinnner It saze “yiu Are All Racists”??” So wee beet himb up.

New Drug Makes You a Deep Thinker!

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New from Bustem Labs! “Profunditol” (TM) will turn you into a deep thinker rivaling the greatest philosophers and scientists of all time!

Accidently discovered while pursuing research into hair restoring creams, Profunditol’s effects were immediately apparent. “You eat a bowl of it, or put a couple of scoops of it on a sugar cone, and take it like it’s ice cream,” explained company janitor Sid Viscous. “It tastes terrible! But it’ll make you smarter in a hurry. Look at Joe Biden: he takes it every day.”

So does Violet Crepuscular, “But she’s now too smart,” said Viscous, “to do an endorsement for free.”

Profunditol is expected to transform the human race into vast multitudes of scientists, philosophers, artistes, and vagabonds.

Ask your community organizer about it today!