Should I Do Nooze Today?

Study suggests T. rex's legs were made for walkin' – not running

A new study “strongly suggests” that Tyrannosaurus rex used its legs for walking. Well, that knocks the old ballroom dancing theory into a cocked hat. The jumping-jacks theory still has a few die-hards hanging on.

I happened upon a nooze story a few minutes ago and got a blood pressure surge, nor could I restrain certain vigorous exclamations. My wife said, “I thought we weren’t going to do this on the weekend.” Get all worked up over the nooze, she means.

Well, fair enough.

Attention, readers! What would you like to see on this blog on the weekends? I’d like to see more dinosaurs, but that’s only me. What would you like? Don’t ask me to be clairvoyant–tell me! As Popeye once said, “We aims t’please!”

Coming up by and by: Byron’s TV listings.

Oh, No! Air Is Racist, Too!

47,249 Air pollution Images - Free & Royalty-free Stock Air pollution Photos  & Pictures | Depositphotos

Uh… Aren’t our polluted cities governed mostly by “Science”-loving liberals?

When the National Academy of Sciences talks Science, all you peasants better listen!

The NAS has just discovered “pollution inequity,” caused by racist white people whose activities–such as using electricity–turn the air itself racist (https://www.conservativeglobe.com/articles/oh-great-now-the-air-is-racist-time-for-rep-air-ations/). ‘Cause, see, white folks cause most of the air pollution and People Of Color… breathe most of it! (Shut up! This is Science!)

But not to worry, social justice is at hand. The government’s got this. Simply charge those evil white folks more money for electricity–’cause after all they use so much of it–and charge POCs less! It’s a kind of reparations. And NPR is all in favor of that, so there!

Had enough yet, America?

 

‘As the “Science” Gets Sillier and Sillier’ (2018)

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Study our civilization! If you can find it.

Is there a secret government agency whose only job is to invent ever-more frivolous ways to waste our money?

I’d like to know how much this caper cost–“studying” the effects of Climbit Change on an alien civilization on another planet.

As the ‘Science’ Gets Sillier and Sillier

Just askin’–what do they mean by a “civilization”? Our own planet has had many civilizations. It has quite a few different ones today. But then most of science-fiction has always taken eventual Global Government as a given.

Heaven forbid.

I suppose, meanwhile, it would do no good to ask for our money back…

Now It’s ‘Racist’ Birds

Tricky Bird Identification Tips | Celebrate Urban Birds

Do they know they’re racists?

So some Far Left Crazy doofus who writes field guides wants a whole bunch of birds’ names to be changed… because they’re “racist” (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/06/leftist-loons-now-targeting-racist-bird-names/).

Honk if you really, truly, deeply care if some bird you just saw at the birdbath is named after some bird-watcher in the 19th century that you never heard of but who had 19th century ideas ANDTHATSJUSTSOBADOMGIMHYPERVENTILATING–!

This donk wants all birds’ names changed if they were named by or for “racists.” ‘Cause just because you lived 150 years before Woke was even thought of, that’s no excuse for not being Woke.

What do you want to bet he’d have no trouble at all naming some finch after Mao Tse-tung, the most prolific mass murderer of all time?

Really, it’s time this was all stopped cold.

Haow ‘To” Fined A Seecrit Racist!!!

Spinner Board / Dial Assembly - Print & Play

Boy has we got hi teck naow!!!!! If yiu “are” “a” Racist, we are goingto Get yiu!!!

This heer it “is” a Hi-Teck Racist Deteckter!! Yiu spin “the” aroew and wen “it” Stopps Spining it whil “Be” poynting At A Racist!!!!!!!!! It is trooly The Laitist fromb our Collidge Syince Depotmint!!!!

I amb nott shur waht themb Numb’ers “are”,, i “Think” thay telll yiu Haow Big a Racist somb one Is!!

Racists thay Cannot “hyde” no moar,; we whil awlyaws Fyined themb!!! Awl yiu Racists oaut thare yiu “mite” “as whell” torn yorselfs in And take “yore” Punitshmint!!!!!!! The Hi-Teck Racist Deteckter it whil fyned yiu!!

This it jist “gose” to “sho” yiu haow Grate Siyince “is!”!” We has tryed this “heer” Deevyce umpteen Tymes “all-reddy” and it have Nevver “wunts” fayled to fynde the Racist in “the” Roomb!!!!!!!!!! and if yiu doughnt Know “yiu” “are” A Racist,, this Is haow yiu whil Fynde Oaut!!! Thare “are” a Lott of yiu whoo dosnt Know yiu “are” Racists AND That “IS” NO AXCUSSE!!!!!!

And somb Hater he sayed Waht “whil yiu Idjjits do wen the spinnner It saze “yiu Are All Racists”??” So wee beet himb up.

New Drug Makes You a Deep Thinker!

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New from Bustem Labs! “Profunditol” (TM) will turn you into a deep thinker rivaling the greatest philosophers and scientists of all time!

Accidently discovered while pursuing research into hair restoring creams, Profunditol’s effects were immediately apparent. “You eat a bowl of it, or put a couple of scoops of it on a sugar cone, and take it like it’s ice cream,” explained company janitor Sid Viscous. “It tastes terrible! But it’ll make you smarter in a hurry. Look at Joe Biden: he takes it every day.”

So does Violet Crepuscular, “But she’s now too smart,” said Viscous, “to do an endorsement for free.”

Profunditol is expected to transform the human race into vast multitudes of scientists, philosophers, artistes, and vagabonds.

Ask your community organizer about it today!

‘And They Say We Believe in Silly Things’ (2016)

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Not quite 20 years ago, Science was agog with a new theory that explained why Homo erectus (Them) had a thicker skull than Homo sapiens (Us).

And They Say We Believe in Silly Things

If they were more hip to popular culture, they would’ve realized that cartoonists had beaten them to this theory by several decades. But read and enjoy the 2016 post (all you have to do is click it) to find out all about it.

You’d think that if blind Chance really did preside impotently over the development of life on earth, you’d find a lot of fossils of goofy animals that weren’t suited to survive. Snakes that can’t bend, legless rhinoceroses, birds with their heads on backwards, huge buky dinosaurs with dainty wings, a servant with two heads and a hand–isn’t that more Chance’s style?

See? We Told You They’re Crazy

Image result for images of ezra klein

A “god” of… what?

Ooh-ooh! We can turn off Global Warming!

All we’ve got to do is dim the sun!

Drawing a paycheck from the New York Times gives you a license to babble. So we have the Times’ Ezra Klein–no known expertise in anything–babbling about how we’ve got to “dim the bleeping sun” and face up to the risks of God knows what catastrophe… to stave off Climate Change, blah-blah (https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/business/joseph-vazquez/2021/02/10/insanity-ny-timess-klein-ponders-having-dim-sun-fight).

What does he mean, “dim the sun”?

This idea has been floating around for a few years. They want to fill the atmosphere with tiny particles (allegedly harmless calcium carbonate) to reflect sunlight before it can heat the surface of the planet.

All sorts of people are pleading that this not be done–because no one knows what the effects will be. Proponents are talking about screwing around with enormous natural forces, infinitely complicated, that no one fully understands. What could possibly go wrong?

Klein quotes another birdbrain: “We are as gods, and might as well get good at it.” Yowsah. We’ve been pretty shabby gods so far. Gotta improve. And we will, we will! Because these plans are being hatched by “very, very smart people.”

And guess what! Bill Gates is on board with dimming the sun! You know, Bill Gates–the billionaire who says there are too many people in the world and the population has to be cut way back. It seems a wise policy to be against anything Bill Gates is for.

Mr. Klein and his playmates think they’re cut out to be gods.

But they should stick to what they’re really good at–being fools.

‘Are Males Doomed’? (2018)

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Wait’ll you find out how little time we have left. You’ll keel right over.

Are Males Doomed?

Who needs clairvoyants and psychics to peer into the future, when you’ve got scientists? And because most of them get paid with publid money, it’s just exactly the same as getting it all for free!

Damn! Only 46 million years left! And it’s Evolution, so it’s carved in stone, ain’t nothin’ we can do about it.

I wonder if I should bother to do any more laundry.

‘So Noah Had a Cell Phone?’ (2018)

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Who you gonna call?

Just in case you thought only Western scientists get really silly, here’s some stiff competition from Turkey, University of Istanbul, via public television.

So Noah Had a Cell Phone?

Even if you grant that everything the guy said was possible–where’s his evidence? Has he got a display case full of prehistoric cell phones? Any steel left over from 4 or 5,000 B.C.?

But if it’s teaching us nothing else, our current era teaches this: “So who needs evidence?”