Tag Archives: Do Not Call list

‘Now for Something Really Despicable’ (2016)

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I really do wonder whatever happened to “Do Not Call,” which actually protected us for several years. Then it sort of went away, and the phone scams heated up again.

Here is one of the less endearing ones.


They really do target the elderly. As my Aunt Gertie grew into her nineties, every goniff in the Western Hemisphere came out of the woodwork, looking for a chunk of her money. It kept Aunt Joan on her toes, protecting them from these varmints: for poor Gertie had become easy prey, and the villains knew it.

It’s one of those things you simply don’t do if you have sense enough to fear God.

Now for Something Really Despicable!

I have just received a phone call–interrupting my search for a morning hymn–with a recorded message that went something like this:

“This is the call-back you requested after you saw the television commercial for our E-Z Acme Back Brace…”

Hmm… We don’t have television in our home, and thus we never see commercials, and we couldn’t have seen a commercial for anyone’s back brace. And truly, not if you put a gun to my head, or a knife to my back, would I ever, ever call the toll-free number to inquire about something I saw in a commercial. And I would see myself shot out of a cannon before I ever requested a call-back.

So, you see, the whole thing was just a big fat lie.

If this isn’t as low as it gets, I don’t know what is. Clearly this marketing technique, this scam, this bit of skulduggery, is aimed at elderly persons who may not be tracking too well and who may even be brought to believe they actually did request a call-back.

This is not to be confused with the robo-call we get every single day informing us that we have just won another free cruise on the S.S. Puke-Yer-Guts-Out.

Once upon a time in New Jersey we had a “Do Not Call” law that protected us from such annoying phone calls. It seems to have fallen into disuse. Maybe some poor idealist in the capitol thought it wouldn’t be needed anymore, that common decency would restrain the scam artists.

Well, it doesn’t restrain the big predators, so why should it restrain the jackals?

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