“Hi! I’m Farfel the European Smooth Newt! Lee has asked me to tell you he isn’t going to write up any news today, if he can help it, but he will take hymn requests and animal video requests, so if you wanna make one, now’s the time to do it. Tomorrow we go back to observing the history of the future. That’s what us Smooth Newts call ‘current events.’ And that’s why people call us smooth!”
Yeah, all right, Farfel, geddoudahere already…
He’s right, though. We are open for extra hymn requests today. Well, okay, sure, we’re open for that every day. But I am just not going to do news today! Not unless I really, really have to. Farfel the Newt is a news junkie, but I’m not.
Now, excuse me while I go to see what’s cooking with Oy, Rodney today.