“I have always felt,” writes Violet Crepuscular, introducing Chapter DXXVI of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney, “that no epic romance is worth its salt without a massive invasion of terrifying, lethal insects. Like these… the infamous bare-faced hornet–”
Wait! Stop! Foul! [Cue harshly blowing referee’s whistle] What’s with the killer insects? Last week it was The Seven Sleepers of Scurvey Forest–you promised to wrap that up, didn’t you? (I am on the point of resigning as her editor.) D’you know what I’d say to you, if we were face to face? “I’m on the point of resigning as your editor!” That’s what I’d say.
[Enter new editor who knows nothing about Oy, Rodney and doesn’t care. He wants to be a steeplechase jockey, once he loses that extra 150 pounds.]
We take up the chapter with Johnno the Merry Minstrel wandering through the forest, singing a madrigal about Davy Crockett. The Seven Sleepers have already been awakened and turned to dust. It happened too fast to be described. [The new editor lets her get away with this.] Johnno intends to compose a new madrigal about Davy Crockett and the Seven Sleepers. He already has a working title for it: Davy Crockett and the Seven Sleepers.
“Well, that’s about all I’ve had time to write this week,” the Queen of Suspense confides in her readers. At last count there were twelve of them. “Trust me, I haven’t forgotten about the rhinoceros cocoon! But the tale must be told in orderly stages.”