Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
We’ve only got 12 years left to Save The Planet from Global Warming, and if we don’t agree to a “rapid and far-reaching” transformation of human civilization, like, now, baby–we’re all toast (https://www.washingtonpost.com/energy-environment/2018/10/08/world-has-only-years-get-climate-change-under-control-un-scientists-say/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.0b1191f65c84).
Remember: whenever liberals say something is a problem, it’s not a problem.
Anyway, that’s the latest draconian prediction from the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climbit Change. Dude, we’ve gotta take “unprecedented actions” or we’re all doomed! As one of the escaped mental patients on the panel said, “It’s like a deafening, piercing smoke alarm going off in the kitchen. We have to put out the fire.” Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
See, explain the assorted schlemozzles, we’ve either gotta find a way to pull all the carbon dioxide out of the air, or else “stop emissions entirely by 2050.” Stop exhaling, people! No more cars, no more air conditioning, no more meat, and no more toilet paper for you plebs! Just think of it as going to Venezuela and having to stay there forever. From time to time you can look up at the sky to see private jets full of Climbit Change big shots zooming off to Davos for their latest bacchanalia. Maybe if you’re lucky, a tiny scrap of kobe beef will fall out of the plane and land in your hand.
Just twelve years. Mmm! Well, if it’s a choice between being doomed or having to obey a bunch of UN cockroaches– What’s the difference?