‘Some Helpful Hints for Writers’ (2011)

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Rocky Bridges once said there are three things everybody thinks he or she can do: manage a baseball team, run a hotel, and write a book. And I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say, “Oh, I’d write a book, too, only I just don’t have the time!”

Assuming you now have the time, here are a few helpful hints to get your started.

Some Helpful Hints for Writers

It’s all about writing fantasy, which is the kind of fiction I write. I have no idea how to go about writing Serious Mainstream Literature, except to obey the cardinal rule of “Nothing happens.”

I’m still interested in learning what words you most emphatically don’t want to see in any fantasy. I’m sure you can add to my list.

So You Want to be President?

Amazon.com: 1960 Topps # 22 Rocky Bridges Detroit Tigers (Baseball ...

No, I’m not nominating Rocky Bridges for president. I just want to quote him.

Rocky once said there are three things that everybody in the world thinks they can do: run a hotel, manage a baseball team, and write a book.

To this we must add, “And be president.”

Is there anyone, at any given hour of any given day, who does not know what the President of the United States should do? “The president needs to do such-and-such, right now!” “Here’s what the president has to do…” And so on. It must be the easiest job in the world. And if not, well, you’ve got an infinite quantity of advice.

How easy? Doddering Joe Biden promises to name a woman as his running mate, who will become president if Joe gets elected and then conks out. It sounds like a little more than half the people in the country, in Joe’s opinion, are fully qualified to be president. And that’s Rocky in the background, sagely nodding his head.

Can you imagine being president and actually trying to take all the advice you get?

If that doesn’t give you the horrors, nothing will.