“It’ll be so much comfier as a Maintenance Hole!”
The city of Berkeley, California, has decided to dispose of certain common words and replace them with Gender-Neutral Language (https://theconversation.com/the-uproar-over-taking-man-out-of-manhole-120821) because… Well, I can’t think of a way to finish that sentence.
But voila! It’s official now! They’ve rewritten their municipal code. So from now on, a manhole will be a “maintenance hole.” Can you gimme hallelujah?
There ought to be an essay contest to see whose life has been made all the better for this change. “Ever since they changed ‘manhole’ to ‘maintenance hole,’ my life has taken off like a rocket–!” (Another kind of “hole” springs to mind, but I won’t mention it.)
Winner gets to sit in on Berkeley City Council meetings for the rest of his or her life. Let the reader decide whether that’s a prize or a punishment.