How to Stop the Volcano? (‘Oy, Rodney’)

a gripping page-turner headed for the top of the NY Times bestseller list | Romance novels, Funny romance, Book parody

Introducing Chapter DCXL of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney, Violet Crepuscular lapses into mere gibberish. “Ellwmpf ghaaa,” she confides in her readers. We knew this would happen.

This leaves us in a quandary. 1) A volcano is about to erupt in Scurveyshire, and may blow the place to kingdom come. 2) Secret sessions of ritualized poking have been held at The Lying Tart. Constable Chumley is investigating.

While we are waiting for Ms. Crepuscular to re-familiarize herself with the English language, we find on her coffee table a scale model of Mt. Scurveyshire, with one of those toilet paper thingys for the lava to come out. The Queen of Suspense always does thorough research.

Neighborhood boys with slingshots have been peppering her through windows she has forgotten to close. She buys them off with toothpaste sandwich cookies.

Ah! There! Something clicked: she has come back to us.

“Sorry for that little interphalangery,” she addresses her multitudes of readers. “I promise not to speak any more gibberish. Unfortunately, this week’s installment of Oy, Rodney has been a complete bust. But be sure to tune in next week for something much more illuminating!”