I just sat down to work when the phone rang. I picked it up, and what do I hear? “This is the call-back you requested [lie] after viewing our commercial [lie: I have no television] for our Acme Supercalifragilistic Back Brace…”
I protest the shameful decline in the art of lying. The time-honored whole flaming point of a lie was to be believed. I mean, what is the point of a lie that no one, not even an imbecile, would believe? How was an unbelievable, stupid lie ever going to get you out of trouble? They know doggone well that I never requested any call from them. Do they think I don’t know I never asked them to call me?
But this is the year when some liar, with absolutely no sane expectation of being believed, could address a whole convention hall full of people, plus TV cameras reaching out to millions of viewers, and call Hillary Clinton, former captain of her hubby’s Bimbo Eruption Squad, the champion and defender of women who have suffered sexual harassment. That would be damn near every woman who’s had any dealings with Mr. Clinton.
In the Bible, the midwives lied to Pharaoh to save Israelite babies from being killed. It worked because Pharaoh believed them. But nowadays they would have told him, “Global Warming is causing Israelites to have babies: just slap on some higher taxes, and that’ll do the trick.” Then again, maybe Pharaoh had already heard that 97% of Egyptian magicians and astrologers believe in Global Warming, so it must be true. After all, our astrologers and magicians believe in it.
You could go blind, trying to count the hopeless, lame, preposterous lies that are handed out today.
You’d think any liar who had so little talent for it… might as well tell the truth.